Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Reliving the Second semester

Some of my best moments again brought up as dialogues (Divyam, I make myself eligible for being impeached due to plagiarism)

(Warning: Potentially tiresome, I take no responsibility for any loss of interest from life after reading this)

Prof. Niraj Khare (laughs whatever you say to him):
"Sir please show the Youtube video, you promised last time." me from the last bench
"Kya baat kar rahe ho sir aap bhi". Me on being caught for Proxy during attendance
"Haazir hun janaab." this time it's not me, but Tulsyan in ‘my voice’ as attendance.
"Why don't you just move out if you are not interested in the class?" Khare to Tulsyan, just before the latter packed up his bag and went away
"Which sport do you play?" he asks me as I reach late to receive my paper in track suit"
"Increasing marks won't be entertained in your case, since you came late whatever the reason." Professor Ratnamala Chatterjee to me
"Except if you feel there is a problem." Khare clarifies
"That's what I said no to." Ratnamala scolds him immediately
Swades De (an epileptic, moves his hand after every word he writes and stammers equally):
"You can call me a fool, but a class of 50 people can you call them fools?" me in a quarrel
"See-see, you are using the wrong terminology."
"Yeah, whatever you call it -poor concepts." the rest is clear
Director of IIT:
"Before the minors, there are no holidays; during there are none, even after there are no holidays. It is................. As if nothing happened.” My genuine complaint
Prof. Amitav Tripathi:
(Friend or foe or teacher)
"How old are you?" when five minutes are left in major
"You are 18?" Astonished
"Mr. Bhattacharya, why are you sitting behind?" A rare occasion I am sitting behind
"I feel comfortable here." Me stretching my arms
"So, now you don't feel comfortable in front of the girls."
"Where did they come from?”
"Sorry, if you visualize it as sitting with Arsh or Anshul."

"If I was a senior, I would’ve liked Siddharth Bhattacharya of Jwalamukhi as my junior." Tripathi sir to a different batch of his
Anonymous Teachers:
"Is one of you Bhattacharya?" To Raghu and Utkarsh who were discussing happily of having bunked a class

Between friends:

(Battle of unequals)
"Why don't you go around the insti with a bottle, and wash your moustache every time a girl comes nearby?" he said when I told him my moustache are prominent when wet
"Dogs are decreasing in the institute." on my non-veg. eating habits
"It would be a surprise if your health is normal."
"Bhatte, tera kya hoga?" his favorite dialog to me
"Aur vai Bihari." Me greeting Shubham and Rahul Prakash
"These Indorites are all the same." Raghu about Tulsyan and Nandecha
"You always try to divide on the basis of region." I and Vipul in reply
Some pet lines:
"Kucch bhi bolega kya?" Tarun
"Hadd hai" Piyush's defense
"Ee, kya hai" Gainda when psyched
"Kya baat kar raha hai yaar." me
"Sahi hai yaar." Pradeep in his awful Hindi
"What fun it would be if we were roomies." In the first month
"No way, there is no chance we can be roomies." days before roomie allotment
Who is the strangest? :
"Bhatta, you are strange." A common dialogue
"Singla, Tulsyan : both of you are strange." A common dialogue by me
"That tall boy in electrical is so strange." Singla speaks out
"Actually, you people are mutually normal but are universally strange." Piyush to Tulsyan and Singla
"Were you strange from the beginning?" Me to Piyush
"You’re strange." Piyush to me
"I want to be strange." Me to Piyush
"Even more than this ..?" Rachit as a reply when Piyush made this statement public
"Main ajeeb hun aur mujhe iss par garv hai." Pradeep's favorite line in his pathetic Hindi
Independent statements:
"You suck." On some event
"For this, that is absolutely normal, no?" Revolt
"No, actually this is an independent statement, you suck." My actual meaning
"You know who I will, pick as a roomie: you!" Nandu three months ago
"Actually, Tarun picked my roomies." 2 days before roomie allotment
In Gautam’s room, one bed is empty and light is on, why don’t you go there and study?” Tarun to me, when he was about to sleep (2 am) and I wanted to study
Piyush’s bed is empty, why don’t you sleep there?” Tarun to me when I was sleeping (5 am) and he switched on the lights to study.
This TA is a gay; he slides his hand all the way from back to bottom.” Divyam to me in EEL lab
"No doubt I thought of you as a reserved candidate." Me to him another day
"I have got a better rank than you." Anger
"Is 603<547?” sadly this was small enough for my memory
"Oh shit, you remember my rank, you envy me." Nice reply
You paid me Rs. 50 less for the bet.” He says before leaving
Now you have to pay me Rs. 50 instead.” Later, after the results came out and he lost a won battle
Tarun’s genuinity of assignments:
"Hey, this line you used Baltimore as example, you even know where it is?" (Tarun starts looking into the walls) Gainda asks, we are trying to see what Tarun has done in assignments
"So that's what I was thinking, Pradeep explains to him for 10 minutes then he looks to the wall ,understands nothing and starts playing tabla." I speak out
Name allotment:
"Hello, congrats first. Now listen: for your information, all have been assigned a name .You are a lizard, I'm a rat, and your roommates are dog and buffalo." The first thing I tell Pradeep, after he returns winning bronze medal in International Olympiad.
"He’s goat, not cow." Nikhil to me after I called Nandecha a cow (before names were assigned)
"The same thing."
"No cow sounds better." Oh what a reply, Nikhil
"Then you are the cow." Making the name allotment easier for me
"There is a bill, all are animals from today .If you have objections with any name protest." Me at Sip -n- Byte on Vivek's birthday
"I've an objection." Piyush when his name is declared
"Objection overruled. Not the person himself."
"Hey, what happened why are you sitting on the ground, ditched by a girl?" I speak too much crap
"At least, I was sitting a little higher." Some days later, when I am found sitting there only
"For anyone, who doesn't know you well, every line you speak is crap." analysing why I always get the same response
"OH BHATTA!" This is the response I was talking about.

Partly Acquaintances:

"Are you busy?" Kalsi’s friend to him waking him up from sleep 12:10 night time
"No, tell why?" a humble reply from Kalsi
"Actually I've been locked in the library." Here is the anti-climax
"There should be people like this, so that our talent can come out." Kalsi to me about Sahil Singla
"Either this guy calls dal as non-veg or he is a short term memory loss patient." A senior about me in a party, after seeing my health when I said I am a hardcore non-vegetarian.
"Did you take polio drops when you were young?" a trainer asks me on the field
Dogra (athletics team member):
"Batra's cgpa of 10 indicates he'll score a 10 even if he does Athletics."
"Which department will you go to if you got a Dep-C?" Before Tripathi sir arrives
"I like this dept." Bad reply
"It's for your own good; there are better people there, better placements." Buttering
"No I like my department." To no use
"Can't you understand, we don't want you." May be truth works
During ragging phase:
"I won't let you study." Yeah this senior is really strange, guess what I did next: kept a 1 Re coin on the table
"I think I'm a good person." The same stupid senior later
"There's a difference in thinking and actually being." Speak out when you have got the opportunity
Blog, unexpected reactions:
"You write a stud blog." Anoopam Aggarwal, he read it???
Was reading your blog, didn't know all this happened with you, but the way you wrote it was amazing." Abhinav Garg; Oh cool, I have so many readers.
"Oh, it was your blog. Nice work dude." Friend of friend, even he read it; may be I can start earning
I read that in your blog.” Even more surprises, Sonit and AVP
At home:
"You are getting thinner." Anyone who sees
"When was I fat?"

Girls: (Hiding their names would be unfair to my ‘clear’ intentions)

Swati Ganeti:
If you have come here, you will have to give the auditions.” IPP auditions
For 30 seconds then at max.” Succumbing after denying initially
That was not even 15 seconds.”
I said maximum.”
I will call you Bhatta only.”
Sonali Garg:
Hi.” Wow, did we ever talk in Chandigarh?
I am sure you know this and this also, you must have studied.” On asking the syllabus the day before the exams, if I had why would I get a 5?
Why is everyone asking me the same question?” When I asked her- the way to Swades De’s room.
The girl who I stare at:
Sadly no word came out from my mouth, I could only stare.

Some other nuisances by me just in order to enjoy life more than realization of CG:

  • Read Harry Potter in EEL open-book exam.
  • Left the very easy AML quiz 6 without attempting, because I wasn't feeling like doing it.


Rohan said...

mast hai bhai....:) ...
mere baare me bhi to kuch likh :P ...bekar hi sahi....

HacKitT said...

This was a real good post...even though it seem to be inspired by Divyam's post "Dialogues"..


Piyush said...

Tarun's uncompromising roomie act is too good.I also remember the Baltimore joke,Gainda kept mocking him all day.LOL
Whos Kalsi?

I used to post dialogues in my initial posts in a similar format as well,but I got bored.Ofcourse My conversations are never as intersting as your.

Divyam Singhal said...

its an interesting one for the people who know you... can get boring for others... u shud have preffered the ones with the "punch-lines" only...
and, that "envy thing" was a sly reply from me... I'm sure u dont envy me...

pgm said...

Swades De and 'what the eff', and the kalpana and ghajini thing (ok, thats too sick to be published).
and you didn't complete the Director story.. The director's response, or ATLEAST the applause you got, you shudve mentioned.
and the comments thing needed "Kuchbhi muthlub kuchbhi" too. That was way more recent than 'sahi hai yaar' (1st sem).
and on the strange things, my exact words are "Mein hun ajeeb aur iss par mujhe garv hai". Dunno if changing the order of the worsd makes a difference, but those were the words.
Also, you forgot piyush's "shuru se ajeeb tha?"
And on the Baltimore incident, you shudve mentioned the google search the next day :P

Haha, looks like a lot did happen in 2nd sem after all :)

Siddharth Bhattacharya said...

@ Piyush:
Tarun's uncompromising act is so gr8.You are praising the act by Tarun or the description?
Kalsi ,as I said part acquintance means some of you don't know them. He's a CS guy.
Anyways, thanx for compliment (even if it's sarcastic)
You are right, this has to boring for someone else, but if they step foot still into this territory, their fault I've warned
@ Tulsyan:
@ Rohan:
didn't want to write bad
@ pgm:
ya so much did happen, as i always say. you are asking to add phrases, it's already such a long article !

Gainda said...

looks like i'm stuck with this 'gainda' thing...i doubt if anybody remembers my real name :(

Siddharth Bhattacharya said...

@ gaurav singh (gainda):
great to see you having entered the commenting zone..
anyways, i think i mention a.k.a. (also known as) Gaurav in brackets
and the name gaurav sucks gainda rocks

Piyush said...

I am praising the act actually.


sorry yaar but i left the article in mid-way... i was struggling with the dialogues and i am pretty much justified considering i am not in IIT...

Siddharth Bhattacharya (a.k.a. Bhatta) said...

@ Karun: That is a message to all those, who don't heed the warning in the start

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