Thursday, November 26, 2009

Grief of Being the Founder and Editor: Part 2

After undergoing through upheavals of emotions through the process of creating the magazine, now I suppose it would be an abuse to write the memories of those feelings, without meddling the present into it.

Some controversies, as expected from letting the ‘freedom of expression’ find its pave way into this blog, have let me view the incidents the other way round. One of the foremost things, I feel guilty for not recognizing Mayur’ s work throughout after the release, and using his name only when it came to faults in the formatting and advertising. Now looking at the Page1, though the acknowledgment to Mayur does seem a bit vulgar, it reduces my role as ‘the only one who did it all’, and brings into limelight the work of the team.

The cover page, where I went against Mayur’s advice of not writing ‘Idea by’, (though even ‘Cover by’ seems stupid) has been costly to me. I can now feel what greed is, as looking back at those days I can see how much I wanted myself to do everything. I wasn’t satisfied by others meddling into my ideas.

Moreover, the way I had blamed Ankit seems a bit nonsensical looking from his point of view. Having fallen in love with this magazine, every act of him seemed like the red-tape rolling faster around me. Had it not been for his timely interference, the magazine would correctly have been more of me, and even more controversies. I have just one complaint from him now- he interfered too late, after the work was done. Looking from ‘human’ point of view, it is infuriating when the incentive you worked under, is being snatched after you can do nothing having finished the work, other than spoiling it (which I would have never wanted).

Now that I can analyze some of the personal comments which quoted me making the magazine for proving a point (though they were still way off the mark), I remember those days of anonymity and wonder if people will understand the reason behind it, or will stand by their interpretation of it. Somehow, I am still convinced had I revealed my name way before its launch, attempts at spoiling efforts and spoofing would have begun earlier and the journey till publishing would have been rougher.

However the prequel provided some delightful moments of reading and writing for my peers in the Google Groups, who cherished the moment when I had let my blog know what I had felt in those days. Somehow they chose to make battles public, rather than exchange glances of hatred personally.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Its good to retrospect. But not to an extent that you start feeling depressed. First of all have confidence in you and your actions. But not over confidence. Keep a cushion to realise and amend your mistakes. But dont think that those around you are a perfect critic. Today no one is happy to see others happy. If you did not make others happy, because of your preferences, its not bad in today's world. But just make sure that you don't inflict sorrow on others. Ofcourse if you can make others happy too, you are a saint.

So don't give a damn to what world says or thinks about you, be true to yourself, and never quit hardwork

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