Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Pardon me, Roomie

As I bid Vipul one final time this semester, I realized and repented being a reason for his troubled semester. Though I never intended any pain to him, and there weren’t any misunderstandings, he unfortunately joined the list of all those for whom I became intolerable.

It makes me sadder to think this, because he was one of the main reasons why I can dub this semester that just passed as successful. Not that he did anything special, or provided out-of-the-box motivations, but was excellently co-operative in making life manageable for both in that tiny cubicle- which the authorities called a 'room'. He agreed silently to all the unspoken and spoken rules. Not that I set them all, and cherished domination. I was eager for him to set them. But unfortunately, all his demands seemed so much about not just what I am meant to do. He was obsessed about cleaning the room, and buying decorative stuff for the cupboards.

As has been my habit of questioning my Mom everyday ever since I was small- about who was coming when she was dusting sofas and chairs to clean the home- I just couldn’t separate that habit away from myself, of adapting to unattractive surroundings. Neither could I help his complaint, when he held me responsible for the stench of the room. All I could do was refuting his ‘evidences’ by blaming it on the closed windows, the construction nearby or by reminding him my bathing frequency was more than twice his. Now I wish I had done more to satisfy his meager demands, probably because he maybe correct. Or it could be just a result of the self-driven guilt of having failed him.

My ideologies became inseparable from me, and so couldn’t I often resist letting them loose. Vipul, being the roomie had to bear the maximum brunt of them. Not that he disliked them, he agreed to them. But it was late before I realized how these ideologies were not just suited for anyone. When his affected subconscious mind influenced his actions and thoughts, it had become too much for him. Yet I never kept quiet because he didn’t share his plight. It was however a common topic in the other wing, but as it has always been with me- I was unaware of most of the topics under discussion. Ashamed now I will be to say this, but I took pleasure in him following my ideologies.

He was at the receiving end of the unanimous opinion- about it being impossible to have me as a roomie. The guy irritated by the quasi-nihilist views slowly took to ignoring my ideas, and even tips as a result. Whenever I entered a public discussion, he became the first to play the songs I disliked, and try all possible ways to make fun of me. As a refuge (probably the wrong word), he adapted to the actions in the above wing. The laptop screen in front of him now flashed Zombies all-day long, as he was enjoying an absurd game of hitting zombies. Not that I have any complaints with the game’s theme, but it consumed Vipul and my reminders to him to study weren’t effective anymore. Probably because he now knew it was best to ignore my views.

He took to missing classes daily, although I opposed it. As the system ensured, endless study in the last week wasn’t able to ensure him respectable grades, as he received miserable shocks before departing, disguised as awful grades.

Although I got the keys to another room with far better facilities, I found myself coming back here again and again. And though I always questioned myself for this, now I think the answer was easy. I cherished someone being with me. Though I can forgive myself, for it is easy to be convinced it wasn’t my fault at all. But it was sad to observe the recipient of my first testimonial after 1st year, the normal guy amongst geeks and wanna-bes was the one separated from the celebrations of a successful semester and at the wrong side of it. So as I was the lone one bidding him goodbye and seeing him off, I just wanted redemption- for both, me and him.


pgm said...

"My ideologies became inseparable from me, and so couldn’t I often resist letting them loose." and so have you begun advertising your blog. No, I have not got issues with it.

"I just couldn’t separate that habit away from myself, of adapting to unattractive surroundings." Theres no hint of laziness in this?

"I cherished someone being with me." Hmmm, so do you prefer having a roomie or being single in a room?

Siddharth Bhattacharya said...

@ pgm:
Got it correct. It was better than tiring you with all my ideologies alone.
Lazy. Maybe. Being unclean. It just doesnt bother me much.

No..Roomie seems better than single room..

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