Saturday, January 23, 2010

You asked? Here is the answer!!

Someone asked me a question I couldn’t answer. The circle of people surrounding me eagerly awaited the answer coming out of my mouth, not necessarily because they had been craving for the answer all the while but maybe because it provided a spectacle to have me fumble through the words. Finally, a politically correct statement saved me some blushes (thanks yet another time to him), and I replied with a fraction of what was going in my mind. But this is my blog, a place where I can be frank. Here I can admit things I may not be able to outside (no matter whoever is reading it).
So my first confession. When all you people seek fun laughing at me, considering yourselves more mature and practical, and find me sharing your laugh, I may not be liking it all the while.
But the crucial confession, which shall also answer the question where I disappointed people with inappropriate answers (and here I must be rude); it deals with the Maths Society Magazine- Infinite Epsilons. I thought someone said they didn’t appreciate the magazine primarily due to the fact, they didn’t know who had been behind it and they had been eager to contribute.
Oh really! I remember asking people to contribute not though as the Founder/ Editor but as a Maths Enthusiast, but getting hollow results. What were you waiting for then- Mr. Eager? An order by the Founder, in place of a request by a friend? It gives me a laugh to remember the number of mails that turned out at the publicized website. None bothered to volunteer actually, but surely they were all enthusiastic. None clarified at the mail ID who was doing the work, but of course it was their ‘right to information’ who was working. I feel so guilty at not having the names of Editor, Founder and Designer published in the posters. After all, they had contributed by funding the Society while being admitted into IIT and it was the Society’s (or mine?) duty to inform them who worked for the society? Never mind, none of them enquired all these days who was the President, General Secretary of the Society and how they spent the sum all these days, before the publication. And Mr. Work-it-Out, it’s surprising to know you couldn’t figure it out, why I insisted you all along to contribute a little.
It’s true I wasn’t able to trust till the end, people working with me on the level of enthusiasm they shared. And all those who couldn’t bear my name in that magazine, I wonder whether their ego would have interrupted in working with me, while they would have known I was the Editor. The bold email ID awaited mails for volunteers, enquiries but few came, all from first-yearites. And not a single person was denied.
Oh, and I forgot to answer a major question. Why my name everywhere? Of course, a valid question by all those who didn’t contribute in the absence of incentives or certificates. No matter, I received no certificates for working, I was supposed to work without publicizing the one behind it. Surely, I must work without incentives since I had ‘enthusiasm’. And a genuine apology to some close people, who I had thought would appreciate the magazine and my work far more, in the absence of prior knowledge. Sadly, those were kiddish expectations from my side, and it turned counterproductive.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"The cover page, where I went against Mayur’s advice of not writing ‘Idea by’, (though even ‘Cover by’ seems stupid) has been costly to me. I can now feel what greed is, as looking back at those days I can see how much I wanted myself to do everything. I wasn’t satisfied by others meddling into my ideas."

Quoted from your blog. You have said what seems a good enough reason in the lines above.

I understood most of the things from this blog entry of yours in context with the magazine.

Siddharth Bhattacharya said...

@ Anonymous:
Nice to see, you remember the content of this blog. However, even this post does mention this same thing as the reason.
I never deviated from this being the reason, and even said this today to the circle.
But here, questions raised in this post are a little different.
"It’s true I wasn’t able to trust till the end, people working with me on the level of enthusiasm they shared" I still openly confess that.
I understand it delights you to have me confess of greed, but then don't close your ears to what I quoted of other people.

Anonymous2 said...

i find it a bit interesting...
that you were able to give an answer so freely on this blog...
yet not in person.

i think it'd be true of a number of instances.

but is a good thing? or is it just plain escapism? or is that even a bad thing?

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