MESSING THE UNMESSED

A Note on Feminists and Feminism

2012-01-17T20:22:00.004+05:30

In a recent Literature class, our teacher analyzed a poem written by a female poet reversing the societal notions stating her desire to copulate with men without emotional attachments- labeled as a disgrace in society and smacking of double standards according to feminists who proclaim a man having done a similar act would be known as a stud. Yet the fatal comment was made, as a student commented on the poet being a 'nympho' (it was a joke between two friends at the back, who were forced to share their joke with the rest of the class by the teacher) still laughing. The teacher almost slipped into a feminist tirade before thankfully the class was dismissed. The incident provoked the article.

To begin with (despite knowing it shall offend feminists) I shall state my belief that intellectuals are more often found in men than women, and not due to any reasons of oppression but simply due to preferences and outlook. There is nothing wrong in being that way- there are neither merits of being termed an intellectual, nor any clear way to identify them. However the ones amongst the feminine community who step out strongly with opinions somehow end up as feminists (in my circles at least, if not Angela Merkel/ Hillary Clinton). This is one of my major worries (and complaints) because I believe girls can do better. When a female sets out to form opinions and debate on issues, she finds herself victimized by sex-ratio rather forming opinion on male dominance and how her mere presence is seen as an aberration thus changing her focus to fighting for women's liberation- ending up as feminists.

My point of emphasis here is the vast difference between the former comment and the latter resistance described. Females taking a firm stance on issues of politics, economics are seen as an aberration not due to oppressive tendency of man (a feminist's thought fantasies) but simply due to the stereotype that accompanies them- a subject of good humor- to consider females as being actively involved with thoughts of relationships and families. We know not all females are like that (feminists cite leading female role-models) but it's like any other funny stereotype- for instance, IITians as geeks, all know not everyone here is that way, still the jokes continue as well as the social reputation leading to being dismissed in situations as "What will a geek know about this?". Any such stereotype won't likely change with tirades being a subject of good humor, and not leading to any serious harm. A female is not being restricted from contributing, but rather simply there is a lack of trust in her to succeed.

Consider the initial comment on the other hand- that is serious, a sort of prejudice which can degenerate into asserting supremacy and curbing rights for its actually restricting women to do stuff (for instance, a promiscuous female maybe stoned by a society of people with such thoughts). Such thoughts trouble me as well, where denial of opportunity rather than a mere conviction follows. Such thinking does need to be checked in order to exist in an open and free-thinking society. Sadly the feminist mixes these two, ending up delivering harangues to those who do believe in female liberty, diluting the argument's credibility. The people who have bear the wrath of them are often these suffragist men, since the real oppressing men are prejudiced enough not to participate in intellectual discussions.

Thus my stance is to provide with equal rights everywhere, opportunities as men in jobs and even allow them whatever men are in a free society- be it casual sex or debating on issues. I admit they can outwit men in many fields, and many instances are a reminder of the same. Nevertheless this doesn't change the basic perception of them being inclined towards relationships (and chiclit) since a sizable proportion of girls do behave like that, thus forming a first image for any girl as the same. It's just like when someone knows I am a Bengali, they assume I love rice though I don't eat it at all. (Similarly there are lots of Russell Peters jokes out there for more examples of stereotypes- some of them offending the recipient but nevertheless likely to persist). Thus I support the cause of women's emancipation, liberty, but can't empathize with changing the stereotype.

I do want intellectual females to come out because they would be a pleasure to speak with, without converting into feminists. I would be glad to have promiscuous females in this world, for it will create a more open environment.

PS. Don't associate every joke/ stereotype as oppression- jokes exist on mighty Americans as well.

Sports Quiz, not Quiz

2012-01-14T12:04:00.002+05:30

13th January 2012: Metro travel with Umang Srivastav

A ride to remember!

(Click on the image to magnify, and get a clear resolution)

God Delusion, Mount Abu and Atheism

2012-01-06T15:45:00.004+05:30

For a welcome change, I celebrated New Year's Eve at Mount Abu and Udaipur and I would write on it elsewhere. Here in brief, I would pen down an interesting phenomenon which happened to me during the journey relating to atheism.

Despite being the capital of 2 states,

Chandigarh's connectivity with the rest of India mainly depends on Ambala Cantt and Delhi, and the case here was no different as on 30^th December, I was supposed to catch the train from Delhi at 7:55 pm for which train from Chandigarh was scheduled to arrive at 4:30. A big gap it seems, but I had to dump the bulk of my luggage in my campus (to-fro journey needs at least 1 hour 30 mins), leaving me with lesser time. To pass my time in the train, I begun the novel- God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, a work of non-fiction rationally and probabilistically analyzing God's existence. I was liking the read. However at Ambala, the train kept waiting for a long time- 30 mins, 1 hour but I started fretting when ever after an hour-and-a-half it didn't show signs of movement. After all, I couldn't afford much delay. Instinctively I kept down the book after an hour due to anxiety. However the train resumed services after 1 hour, 45 minutes of stoppage at Ambala. When I thought of resuming the book, I somehow decided against it. Was it the anxiety leading to half-concentration which influenced the decision? Alas, no!

I didn't read it since whether the train reached in time wasn't in my hands, and I had no power over it letting God be the decisive player (despite knowing the power lay with train driver, signal-controllers: humans, not God). Believing that while reading a piece on Atheism, my prayers would be futile I chose to keep it down. And thus despite Dawkins' beliefs on his book making even religious people into atheists his claim in that moment was far from true, as despite my affinity towards rationality I succumbed to being God-fearing and superstitions. In the past, I have been a very firm believer. Strangely despite lack in firm belief now, somewhere the tendency to believe does lurk.

PS. On my return journey which seemed to be sailing smoothly, I finished 90-odd pages without disruption.

Grades 7.0

2011-12-11T18:07:00.005+05:30

Academics undoubtedly forms an important part of my life at college, and at least deserves a post at the end of every semester. Posts in the first half of my curriculum (Semester 1-5) had an intonation of frustration, signaling indignation with the system arising from a combination of inability to score as well as not getting to terms with lack of respect for ‘genuine learning’. Two semesters later, inability to score is a thing of the past but sadly so is the quest for such learning. It took me 7 semesters to become a 7-pointer! Underperformance in the initial stages looms over the rest of the stay persistently, and it has taken high-level scoring to undo the stigma of being a 6-pointer. Here is how my report card looks like:

Semester	CGPA	SGPA
5^th	6.64	7.00
6^th	6.875	8.20
7^th	7.177	8.91

So I felt the need to pen-down the reason which I feel is behind the unexpected soaring of grades within a short period. Generally such a boost is noted for me in the case of hurt pride- on occasions when I am unable to perform in accordance with the arrogant attitude I am somehow used to carrying. Such a thing did happen for me here as well, when I had decided following the 4^th semester to focus myself more on studies rather than the stuff I was used to doing in the previous 2 years. Result- I failed and another post full of indignation. Disillusionment followed and I vowed not to be inclined towards academics the next semester, and tour Delhi more often- be more active in Quizzing, visit more colleges after the realization that half my college life was still remaining- and either I could end it cursing like the first half (waiting for it to end), or make it memorable for myself- to be able to enjoy it thoroughly.

To be able to enjoy the semester, I dropped some courses which were sure to make life more difficult- despite them being core(compulsory courses) postponing them for another day. I didn’t opt exclusively for more Atmospheric Science courses or some Rural Development ones- in order to fetch higher grades, but the general ones I do- Graph Theory under Tripathi Sir (but I’d developed the sense to audit it), core courses like Software Engineering, DBMS, DIP—tough enough, but somehow we had a lot less minors to write and I was lot less concerned. With my lenient attitude, distaste for learning (it would be unfair to refute the role of sycophantic attitude with certain teachers) I somehow managed to score a decent 8.2- without tension in my head, I was able to write the exams, study in the last few days much more casually. Thus I would cite lack of tension as the main reason, alongside newly developed sense of understanding what sort of questions to expect rather than why the phenomenon were happening the way they were.

The 7^th semester was just riding the wave of my previous semester’s good performance- with a new confidence, knowing that 8 SG was a possibility and carrying the same lenient ways- touring Delhi. Again the choice of courses turned out to be excellent, with regard to the number of minor exams to write but the courses weren’t tactfully chosen- but a rare incident of my lack being favorable. I had just happened to fill the courses most suitable for me (other than Cryptography-compulsion of DE and being rejected for a Humanities course in the same slot), the ones which I actually found interesting- Algorithmic Game Theory, Economics & Literature courses. True- they were easy courses, and were instrumental in lifting my grades.

Attendance was as bad as always in Maths courses- but still I managed 8s, lots of credit to question-oriented studies, while it was almost full in Algorithmic Game Theory(1 absent), European Renaissance (3 absents), Planning and Economic Development (3-4 absents)- each of these courses without any attendance requirements. No classes after 1 anyday helped in keeping the mood positive. As a result of the increased confidence (from the previous semester), I had developed the knack to score a minimum 8 in each course. The grades finally turned better than my most optimistic calculations- completely contrary to worse than worst calculations earlier. Three perfect 10s amounted to a SG of 8.91, and exiting the club of 6-pointers. Overall it has been the lack of hectic minors (6 in a semester), provision to lead a more relaxed life with less tension which I believe was instrumental in yielding some good grades.

PS. My heart still lies with the 6-pointers, and would react to shit like "even the 6-pointers got this".

News is Objective?

2011-11-22T15:39:00.008+05:30

For long, I believed that since newspapers deliver news and not opinions, they are bound to be objective. Indeed this pervasive view- due to which many consider it a worthier source than biased opinion Editorials- gives them immense power in shaping masses thought processes. Media is more powerful than Government for it can report an allegation on the ruling party one day turning the tide against them, while next day scandalize the Opposition swaying it back in favor for the former. Alas, support for oneself is garnered more easily by ridiculing the opponent due to which choices are mostly an aversion towards one than an aversion for the other. But how is it possible for media to report for-or-against an issue using facts? After all, the subject must have committed the act to be reported. And how can facts be biased? Till a debate with Andri (fellow intern at ABB, on one of my long detours from work) where he pointed out on the possibility of media-bias (on an Indo- Pak debate where I ridiculed Pakistan based on local-media sources). Andri's allegation compelled me to observe the possibility, and finally after observing for long, I think I can explain few ways in which the bias successfully works.

So much happens in the world each day, such a huge spectrum of possible news, so many news-makers. If Aishwarya Bachhan's newborn can make headlines in the major publications (not just supplements), no wonder there is no dearth of news-makers. Even me writing this article can be news tomorrow (if I had the stature, or an influential person was writing rather than me). Thus there is a lot to choose from for the publishers.

An important point to be noted is everything has its pros-and-cons. Assume the publishing house be biased towards one of the views. All it needs to do is publish 'facts' on that side, ignoring those on the other side. For instance, reporting only on the pros of Indian growth story while not reporting (remember, not opining-even reporting) of a tragic story caused by it (similarly, reporting the cons of an issue while leaving the pros, before you allege to be pro-sad news). A common example (the subject of my debate with Andri) is news on Pakistan. Almost every news emanating from the nation is negative in our newspapers- bomb blasts, corporal punishments, SMS bans, Hindu-persecution. Not that these are false (though they can be at times) but consider India. If one wants to portray it as a God-obsessed Hindu-fanatic country in deep disarray, worse than Pakistan one can. Just go to a village where cows are worshipped, necromancy practised, girl-child killed, alcohol consumers punished and other ridiculous petty stuff, which we city-dwellers are aloof from. Reporting incidents from this village can make India seem disastrous if the article simply quotes 'in a village in India'. Moreover, there are these protest movements, corruption scandals- painting a sad scene for India. Experts can portray India as a stone-age country (maybe Pakistani media does that). Thus without deviation from facts, but simply applying the filter of 'facts' wisely the media can be successful towards reflecting its side of the view. Another example is China. A news was published where a businessman said "My only wish is to escape China". Out of the billion people, the view of an ordinary businessman (shaped as news) made the columns- wonder why? Similarly, there are stories about Putin being jeered at, portrayal as a dictator while lots of positive things keep happening in his life, celebrated by people in Russia.

Another powerful tool is Headlines. The recent viral pic on Facebook denoting different headings for the same news in The Hindu and TOI. The content can be seen both in the adjoining pic, as well as the link. Clearly the first thing a reader sees is the heading in bold. Some may ignore to read the details and thus only the view from the headline remains while for some it creates a confirmation bias while reading the article in alignment with the headline.

Another tool, not very visible is the use of adjectives. The brave, valiant Ratan Tata. The corrupt minister. Confused Kambli. These minor insertions set the tone and help in aligning the view with the writer without being explicitly opinionated. At times, advertisements are printed as news, with adjectives as per the advertise. Huge-scale event, successful results. Such was the case at one point when a 'news' article reported a particular coaching class delivering excellent results for JEE selection. If media can print such blatant advertisements as passive facts, can't they do the same with other news, with appropriate adjectives, expertise in journalism.

A question maybe raised on the assumption "assume the publishing house be biased towards one of the views" made earlier in the article. However with the power media has on the masses' opinions, the parties involved in the news very well know the effects a certain news would have. Moreover these people have a lot of clout as well as monetary backing to be supporting a publication thus ensuring their filter runs by filtering away their cons, while championing their pros.

The trigger behind this article is the news circulated by TOI today on "Anna Hazare tying alcoholics to a pole and beating them up". The timing of the article can be questioned, as this has been known to many since long and been said long ago by Anna, but it has been posted just before the start of the Winter Session of the Parliament, where the Lokpal issue is to be raised. Thus news we get is not objective, but biased. Possibly every publication has a view, and filters news according to it. To get the true side of stories (as true as common-men can get to the truth) maybe a resort can be increasing the sources of reading, before being opinionated on any issue.

PS. None of the examples used should be mistaken for my opinion on the topic.
On Pakistan issue, I am still embittered about the nation (reasons for which I may write some other day), and before rubbishing me as a Communist due to China, Putin etc. I would like to clarify I am left-leaning, don't support CPI(M), but have used these examples as they exemplify contemporary media's tone. Neither do these reflect any of views on Anna Hazare (although I do ridicule Aishwarya Rai's child making headlines).

Messing the Unmessed (HD)

2011-11-06T11:38:00.004+05:30

Yet another incident in my life- true to the blog title- surprisingly this time, I was demoted to the position of a silent spectator (call accomplice at worst, if you may) as apparently experts- to whom I had referred- efficiently messed situations from apparently unmessed ones.

~15 August: As I switch on my laptop, the unusual tragedy which follows compels me to refer to the local expert- Kshitij Tulsyan(remember that name, he has a bigger role to play later). The laptop didn't switch on, despite many tries convincing even Tulsyan the problem was beyond his skills, pushing me towards unreliable stores of Nehru Place for a cure. After 4 days of touring and Rs. 1500 in expenditure, I got back a running laptop, with all but one thing working- Windows. It had been corrupted, and in the classic Nehru Place style they offered a 1-month warranty excluding software errors in the claim (including Windows crashes in the exclusions).
#Problem: Though I am not much of a coder and Windows suits me more, I found life with Ubuntu workable. This was until at home, I realized the data card which worked only in Windows, demanded a life of internet-continence for my duration at home. Installing Virtual Machine didn't resolve the problem either. Moreover, MATLAB wasn't working, oDC was back- it was time to get Windows alongside Ubuntu once again.
3rd November, 2011: I pleaded Kshitij Tulsyan to install Windows for me, and without a CD (desperate to have it installed finally) I suggest to use Onboard NIC service (provided by Computer Service Center (CSC) at IIT-Delhi for installing Windows 7), requiring laptop to be connected to LAN cord. As the process is on, and the active installation screen shows an affirmative tick ahead of "Copying Files" and a ticking meter for "Installing", Tulsyan feels the urgency of LAN cord elsewhere and pulls it out ("But I thought the image had already been copied"). Doom follows. Following this act, the laptop can run neither Ubuntu, nor Windows but the enormity is realized only after a bootable Ubuntu disk is inserted to at least have the Ubuntu working again. Alas, all the data has been lost- the Hard Disk rather than having the 3 partitions of Windows, Ubuntu and Other Data now has 1 partition, of all 500 GB, with no data. Of course, I didn't have backup for most of it. Still, believing in Tulsyan's ability of miracles (after all, he is considered the God) I prayed until he gave up and convinced of the sarcastic undertone in the use of 'God' against his name, having done the impossible, messed the unmessed Ubuntu, Hard Disk.
4th November 2011: Back to the nemesis, Nehru Place. Enter a shop with poster of Data Recovery, haggle over the price settling for Rs. 1200. After 5 hours of waiting (and vendor's optimism about his capability during these hours), and me praying to God (the one of Churches, temples) after a long time finally my new God- Murphy- triumphs yet again, as the vendor replies in negative.
5th November 2011: A confident vendor keeps the Hard Disk for 2 days, giving me a few hopes and a few more lessons.
6th November 2011: Running the laptop with a bootable Ubuntu disk and without a hard disk, I am writing this blog article.

Lessons:

As non-IIT students maybe thinking, being an IIT student why do I have to run to others to get system faults fixed. I'm sure the IITians understand. Just to clarify, the knowledge from these years hasn't really developed any practical skills. Now I am eager to learn doing this myself, so that the degree is good for something, other than brand name and pomp.
Keep backup for all important data outside the laptop (preferably in Gmail). Moreover, maintain a file stating the data you have.
Messing the Unmessed is an axiom in my life.
Agnosticism, leaning to atheism, doesn't have good payoffs. But then, I may just be attributing the losses to this faultily.
One of the Gods I believe in has successfully defeated the other- Tulsyan lost to the wrath of Murphy, and now I believe in the only omnipotent Murphy.

GRE

2011-09-30T20:22:00.004+05:30

A simple title, a simple post- based on an event, which created lots of hassles in my life- an examination known as the GRE. I had previously once enumerated how it caused me much undesired pain, and since it became an important chapter in my life it was inevitable another post be written for it.

#Lastcompetitivexam- This is effectively the last competitive exam I write, for which I prepare. I have never quoted "Kucch nahin padha tha" and giggled -as if that was so cool- till date (showing I confess to studying when I do- and I do mostly), but from now on, any competitive exam I give (if I do) I vow to myself not to study really. Preparations are hell tiring, they demand so much compromise on the part of jolly living and may not yield correspondingly satisfactory results.

#Monotheism- Once a devout follower, this seems troublesome as my beliefs have now changed and the only God is not Hanuman or Christ or the concept of a divine force- rather 'he' goes by the name of Murphy, and I've realized my life's task is to defeat this God in whom I have started believing.

#Kinship- Unfortunately however much I try to dissociate myself from this God, he looms over my life. As Tulsyan (Murphy's competitor for being The God, and making me a Ditheist) once stated "Murphy kept you in mind while framing his laws" and also "Murphy tera rishtedaar hai pakka", I can't help but believe in the kinship theory maybe in past births. This is not mere indignation, but a continual habit of satisfying the worst-case analyses.

#Actualexam- I scored 750-800 in Quantitative Analysis -which I would like to believe to be 800- while in Verbal I scored 500-600 where I won't be optimistic by a simple application of Murphy's Law. Thus a score of 1300- 1400, which is not considered bad but considering the preparation and the belief (of others) about my familiarity with English, it is a major letdown.

#AnalyticalWriting- Still waiting for the results for it, takes around 2 weeks. This was somewhat my area, discussing a topic of general interest and debating on it. Having been blogging for so long, writing here and there this isn't surely a skill I need to 'develop' now and I look forward to a good score. The topic was "Colleges should convince students to choose their areas of interest rather than ones which fetch good jobs" (there was a better word for convince, which I am forgetting). Time was restricted- 30 minutes thus limiting my flow of ideas, but nevertheless I spoke freely of the surge of individuality in the Modernist period, its need etc etc as well as citing good jobs mean market demand, logically implying social need thus motivating students to pursue lines with good jobs ensure lucre for the student as well as fulfilling the needs of the society. (The evaluators don't want the writer to seem bigoted, and want them to analyze both sides of the coin).

#Grumbling- What a hopeless examination! Why do examiners care about my knowledge- even worse, vocabulary- of English when words where I get stuck can be Googled and my area of future studies would almost surely be technical. Moreover, the new format sucks- with the multiple blanks for the same question, and no partial marking and a looming ambiguity in so many questions where more than one answer could've been feasible on certain instances but were not. A paper in English should not be Objective!

The Great Indian Novel

2011-09-12T17:03:00.003+05:30

This year although I have read many Classics and critically acclaimed novels, most of which I liked, I felt it apt to write a review for the one which doesn't sit atop any lists, is by an Indian author (turned politician) but nevertheless amazed me the most. I am talking of the Great Indian Novel by Shashi Tharoor- the controversial tweeter while he was State Minister for MoEA and assured his exit by trying to please his third wife.

As the name itself translates to Mahabharata in Hindi,it is a story of Indian Independence Struggle and post-Independence India till times of Indira Gandhi as a satire with the characters and plot from Mahabharata- the Great Indian epic. Like most other Indians, I haven't read the Mahabharata and knew the story in bits and pieces like the names of the major characters, the game of dice, undressing of Draupadi and the eventual defeat of Kauravas by the Pandavas apart from some bits and pieces of the plot from here and there, like the way Bhisma or Drona was killed. About the Independence Struggle, I have read a lot- while in school- but since cramming the answers fetched more marks than appreciating the content, I had did the same and didn't know much about it in as well.

However, since the novel carefully combines the two and takes liberties to twist one of them by small amounts at times, for me it served as an awesome knowledgable experience as well. The book urged me to read more about the Mahabharata from the source of all knowledge nowadays- Wikipedia, thus providing me the opportunity to know the tale of the great epic and marvel about its brilliance.

The style of writing- it needs a special mention. Its a first person narrative (by Ved Vyas), the story moves with rapid speed and often comes up with pieces of poetry by one of the speakers, which is amusing. It is much more humorous than any of the spicy Chetan Bhagat novels, and features a great plot which is a hybrid of the Mahabharata and the Independence movement, although more often it deviates from the former to do justice to the latter. Another marvellous fact is the updating of the epic, and removing all elements of divinity from Mahabharata to make it more believable. Like Pandu being cursed by a conjugal pair who he killed to die when he commits sexual act himself next time. Here Pandu (Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose) is diagnosed by the doctor with heart problems, making him unfit for sexual intercourse anymore. Moreover, the way in which Pandu of the book dies is similar to real character and the analogy- he dies while having sex with Madri in the plane from Japan. Or the way Karna dies (I won't mention here his analogue) ! He gets a heart-attack while lifting a car's wheel which was stuck in mud, which refuses to come out (His chariot wheel gets stuck to the ground on the 17th day, following which Arjuna kills him in the Mahabharata). Such is the brilliance of Tharoor's imagination.

Tharoor makes no business of preaching anything, but still ensures it is much more than a historical account as Ved Vyas often takes liberty from the narration to speak to Ganpathi (the South-Indian who is noting down the whole account, similar to Ganesha in the real Mahabharata) and provides strong views about the story - making it very engrossing. Ved Vyas has all the elements of a great narrator- omniscient ('I have my sources, I have told you Ganpathi'), important character himself (but not too important) and moreover with signs of being flawed at times.

His choice of characters for analogies can be a little debatable, owing to some people's sentiments or some inconsistencies to one of the two subplots, but I feel no other matching could have done it a better justice. Some of the matchings are indeed unclear, especially the ones post-independence as I am sure many like me wouldn't have heard the names of the real-life analogues at all. In such cases, refer to the Wikipedia page but do take care not to see anymore than you want. Even the names of chapters are parodies versions of famous books mainly by British authors.

And the ending- he does justice to Ved Vyas's line 'there is no ending' but the way he does justice to it in the extreme last page is astonishing. A blatant violation of Mahabharata's plot and the constant rhetoric of Dharma in this page is amazing, and alters the foundations of the novel. This is a must read novel for every Indian, to get more perspectives on the greatest epic, recent Indian history in a humorous, satirical way.

How will Lokpal help exactly?

2011-08-26T00:12:00.004+05:30

This article won't do 2 things:-

Criticize the Government for a 'Jokepal', mishandling the fast issue and how corrupt it is since I haven't collected the data and don't believe every word media feeds into my mind.
Criticize Anna Hazare for undemocratic ways, 'My way or Highway' attitude and other allegations put on him by Arundhati Roy.

What drives me here is curiosity. I know Anna wants to end corruption, and anti-corruption combatants are supposed to support his Lokpal Bill. I am just interested to know how would this end (or reduce) corruption? I am mainly infuriated at the media (especially spicy papers like TOI) who haven't laid emphasis on explaining its readers the clauses of Lokpal and rather emphasized on gathering support for the movement, portraying the government as an absolute villain. The question asked is: 'Are you against corruption?'. (see pic) The number of people who affirm the question somehow end up as the number of people supporting Jan Lokpal.

Currently we have some weak investigative bodies to combat cases regarding corruption, unable to deliver appropriate punishments to the corrupt. And we somehow believe this new body (Lokpal) would be able to tackle these cases once it is given the appropriate power. Since we feel so tired currently with so much corruption in our country, one can imagine the enormous number of cases the Lokpal would have to face. Of course, the 11 members at the top won't be handling each of these cases and would outsource them to what they currently call 'Lokyuktas'. The workload as stated would be enormous! It is natural for many of the workers to feel underpaid compared to the workload. So ultimately doesn't this become same as the current system? The people at the top maybe unimpeachable, but can we expect the whole hierarchy to be so honest? In a country where corruption is so widespread (within each of us as many may have told you already), it is tough to believe all of the honest ones would land up as Lokpal workers. Thus I have pointed out just the problem of corruption within the Lokpal. Of course, I know there are clauses against corruption by the Lokpal members.

The cases of corruption against Lokpal members would be investigated by members of another indepedent commitee. And what if members of this 3^rd body are corrupt? Refer it to the 4^th body, ad infintum. Passing between different bodies, wouldn't this be similar to the current situation, where a file is passed to so many officers with bribes at each stage, and thus the case being in limbo. After all, the Lokpal is a powerful body now and in a power to influence the decisions of the 3^rd body, just like Government cynics argue the 'very powerful' members of the Government can influence decisions currently.

Isn't the assumption that the current set of people at the top are the most rotten, and Lokpal is providing us with alternatives with more integrity the foundation for the support amongst the common man. I personally don't believe currently the Cabinet Ministers are the most corrupt. It's just that the system is too flawed, so that they are unable to cope with the failings at the lower level. Similarly for the Lokpal- the members at the top maybe clean, but that guarantees nothing about the rest. What if members of the Lokpal tomorrow dream of contesting the next elections? Then with the power bestowed on the Lokpal, it would be another form of Opposition Party- intent on taking down the current Government, without the pains of having to debate each of its views publicly like the current Opposition.

However the biggest of all problems is this. If as a corrupt citizen who skips the red light and bribes Rs. 50 to the policeman, I can get away or I can get some other favor by paying off some government official, why would I bother to file a case against the official? In many cases nowadays, the offer is first made from the bribe-payer rather than bribe-seeker demanding it. If the offer is not made, legal action, such as fine or jail, is taken (because the rule was indeed broken and action is what a corruption-free society demands!). Thus most bribery cases would go unreported. If somehow I can pay the bribe and later file a complaint against the official for acceptint it, there is some serious flaw in the bill.

Personally, my opinion is in the favor of the bill being passed but I won't take to the streets to support the bill (I may go there for tourism though!) as I am not at all an ardent supporter of the bill. I just believe it is a step in combating corruption and a signal to the Government (as supporters say) they have to behave responsibly to survive. the power of regulations than incentives in many fields, and the regulations imposed by this Bill would be one of them, but am skeptic about the ability of the bill to resolve many corruption-related issues and seek answers on how the bill can combat corruption, considering the rooted-corruption in the country.

Paradox of Communication

2011-07-18T19:16:00.003+05:30

The article refers to the increased communication possibilities in modern times, with the advent of social networking sites like Facebook. Moreover, I am not going to speak on the issue of security as usually cited as the main criticism of this field.

One recess in my 8^th class, I was discussing with a friend what it would feel like if many years down the line after separating we were to meet one day. We envisaged remembering the past days, and laughing at them while updating each other with the life spent in these years.

However 2 years later, we had gone our separate ways in different schools- devoted to our entrance examinations and made new social circles. Meanwhile, the boom of social networks was also being felt as it became easier for people to stay in touch. Few years later, we actually met after a long time but guess what- nothing was as we had thought earlier. First thing said was “You have stopped remembering me (bhai aap to bhul hi gaye humein)”, but the response was reciprocated since the lack of communication had been mutual. Then the realization that communication had become so easier, and it wasn’t the lack of means which served as a hindrance to ‘stay in touch’. Thus rather than a casual atmosphere, to begin with there was an uncomfortable atmosphere. The conversation didn’t last long somehow, both parties weighed down by the guilt of not having utilized the easy communication modes to retain the cordial friendship we had then.

Simply putting, I feel it is the natural way of life to dynamically keep changing our social circles with respect to current environment. It is very comforting if in these scenarios a friend from older times meets after a long time, and we share memories and all that. But with the increased communication although thousands of opportunities open up to stay connected, the opportunity to meet after a long time, get updated and share memories without guilt of not having interacted perishes.

24

2011-06-28T00:46:00.002+05:30

Dedications:

Thanks to Utkarsh Malhotra for suggesting the title, and how it could be an episode with appropriate mixture of spices.

Kshitij Tulsyan always says “While stating his laws, Murphy kept Bhatta in his mind”. Well yet again the God was right.

Thanks to Nikhil Gupta for being a constant support to the extent that I didn’t even read the format and rules and believed what he said. It paid off badly in the end, as although he didn’t say anything wrong, but just missed telling something crucial.

Scene 1:

17^th June 2011, ~ 11 am

About to print my admit card, I take a deeper look at the regulations stated in the familiar and ignorable format of T&C. However digging deeper to my surprise were exceptions laden with shocks, such as stating the following exception-

‘For students in Bangladesh, India, Nigeria and Pakistan the only valid form of Photo ID is a passport. There are no exceptions to this rule.’

Surely being a part of this elite 4 list wouldn’t raise the head of any Indian. Anyhow I made an urgent call home to courier my passport immediately via airmail as it lay at home. Unsure whether it would reach within stipulated period, I could breathe only an iota of relief 4-5 hours later after receiving my father’s call confirming delivery of the courier.

Scene 2:

22^nd September 2010, ~ 5-6 pm (ironically exactly 9 months prior to GRE)

At the Delhi Cantt Station, I alongside my bag got drenched entirely in rain as not a single item within the bag was spared. However the shock dawned on finding the passport entirely faded from the original color belonged to the list. Thus I beheld the very passport, which had been my key to the outside world being annuled by the Regional Passport Office, Delhi to make way for a new one till 24^th January after standing in queues for a long time and harassed endlessly. Paying a fees of Rs 2500 rather than the standard 1000 (Rs 1500 as punishment for damaging, to rub salt on my wounds) I expected Tatkal-speed services as they informed me about lack of tatkal service in this case. To console, they handed a slip (receipt) for the same, rather than some temporary usable document. Without an automatic visit by the police and obliged to call him myself by the guard’s information a month and a half later,the matter of police report clearance settled with a bribe (amount not to be declared publicly). Since then, 3 months have passed and online track reads as it did 2 months ago:

“Police Report is Clear. Application is under Process.”

Scene 3:

17^th June, 10 pm

The contents of the courier were the damaged (cancelled) passport, renewal receipt alongside a print-out of application status by me, which I considered an apt replacement for a currently valid passport. Despite that, the briefness of the authorities in stating the rule compelled me to call GRE office in US- early morning according to NY Standard Time. An air of confusion and sympathy was pervasive in the ISD call, as when the receiver began informing me about their senior’s decision regarding the issue, my balance (Rs 148 to begin with) had vaporized late into the night with shops being closed and no major notes in my wallet. With only ATM card in the pocket, I ran, withdrew Rs 800, got my SIM recharged to be relieved- only to be reminded few hours later about having forgotten my card in the machine itself adding to my woes.

After speaking to another receiver at the GRE office and explaining the situation all over again, with confirming my details on the other side (ISD), the reply was adamant stating “I understand your situation, but rules are rules. You can go to the centre, but we would recommend you not to since you’d lose all your moneyif not allowed ($ 190)” rather publicizing their introductory offer of 50% fees with full refund to take in the new format. To worsen situation, the rules required decision 3 days before the test- meaning the next day which was a Saturday (closed office) with the regional office already closed due to the lateness of the hour and with no defined online procedure for the same. Consulting my parents for the same, who asked me to take the risk to avoid future regrets, I once again noticed despite my age I could still break down at times and weep on till I was loudly crying and the only in front of them. Consulting Prometric office later into the night for some online makeshift and being rewarded with helter-skelter procedure, I postponed the decision till the next day.

Scene 4:

18^th June 2010, 10 am

Thankfully GRE center in Bangalore was open on a Saturday morning and they entertained my call but rebuffed the documetns as inappropriate but when I called again with serious tone asking to arrive personally at the office, he explained how he must abide to American instructions. Thus a caprice of 80-20(%) of being allowed inside now stood at 100-0 and postponement was the only sensible thing. Through the long and unreliable suggested online method, I availed the date of 29^th September for the new format- the very thing I’d set to avoid and thus avidly learned the word list. Meanwhile I blocked my ATM card which could be unlocked only at IIT-Delhi branch. These 24 hours easily summarized one of the worst in my life.

A year gone by since then, a month passes by now

2011-06-10T09:12:00.003+05:30

There are multiple reasons nostalgia is creeping on me currently. Refreshing memories from a year back come by, as yesterday was the anniversary of my landing in Netherlands as I still reflect on the internship, which was a bliss. Moreover currently I am pursuing another internship, this time down south within my own country- and today, a month has passed since I landed here in Bangalore. Surprisingly, often I have felt homesick here longing to return home and spend time- as others say- doing nothing.

A notable thing is first impression. When I landed at the Schipol Airport in Amsterdam, formalities went by smoothly as a first-time visitor like me faced no difficulties in going through them and reached the city of Leiden by dint of a train. The first sight of the outside road left me awestruck and spellbound letting me marvel at my good fate since that moment- evidently a different whole new world. Contrarily, this time in Bangalore despite the stories I'd heard about the city's magnificence the first sight on airport was Meru Cabs on strike for the day, exiting the airport other private cabs pestering me for their services starting with awfully high rates- so reminiscent of Delhi. At that instant itself, I developed the inkling it needs transcending the border at least to witness a different place, a different culture. As I negotiated with a driver finally, the sight of roads wasn't exactly like Delhi, it was worse. Narrower, with more traffic jams- the city didn't give an initial pleasing effect. Worse things are so far off.

However entering the hotel suite was as marvelous an experience compared to the one in Leiden, as this was equally comfortable with similar facilities. Initiation into the company (ABB) next day was pleasing- a nice campus with desired facilities and just announced increment in stipend. However, it started this very day- the deteoriation of my health. Headache got the better of me midway the day, and despite medicines and consultations to various doctors, the only time my health became steadier was after 3 full weeks. This whole time made me feel miserable, for I'd never been ill- variety of illnesses creeping in from headache to shivering, pain in ears to wildly coughing- for such a long stretch and I could only blame my ingress into the city of Bangalore- the change in weather conditions or whatever. The weather it must be said however has been delightfully pleasing, as the sun has never been too harsh and the nights have given vent to the cold breeze to soothe the body, even in May - June. But if it was change in climatic conditions, comparisons crept again within me. In Netherlands, when I entered there was a temperature difference of about 30 degrees from Delhi. Yet in the 2 months of my stay never did I fall ill. I am bound to be a harsh critic on the cleanliness and the conditions within the cities here not sustaining health of people.

Now, the conditions are different after 1 month. I am back to fine health. The work allotted for my internship has been the major source of frustration, since most of the topics I'm working on have either remote or no connection with my academic knowledge (even assuming it to be as much as equal to the cumulative knowledge disseminated in the courses of six semesters), as I had to work with languages developed by Electricall Engineers, softwares developed by ABB themselves and eventually learn concepts of Grammar, Parsing to write working codes for XML Parsers of ST Code Block (seriously, wtf!). Now I've been working in Prolog, and my supervisor has declared some of the work I did recently was redundant as there has been an overhaul of theory and concepts related to the project. Sitting till 5 in the office, especially in front of that computer screen- is a pain, and I have been battling questions like the use of working when the returns are fixed, surprisingly with my inclination being towards fooling around(rather than my rhetorics on working for the sake of experience and research rather than the money). I've found substitutes in visiting pantry often (and munching free snacks), and reading newspaper for a full hour in the library. However things weren't same last year. I did sit on Facebook, Gmail for long hours even then in between the project but I never felt like leaving the university before the assigned time of 5. If I felt (say for instance- 4), I left. Moreover the topic had captivated my interest then, as I found it closer to my understanding and developed a better bonding with the project, sometimes even thinking about it in free time. My inclination for a career as an engineer has further drifted away.

I have been unable to tap the adventures of Bangalore, as they say- the bars et cetera primarily due to my health. I missed a trip to Ooty coughing in my bed, but attended a trek to Skandagri Hills which was entertaining with worthwhile final results, but was risky enough for me to try such daring adventures again. To sum up, given the opportunity to go there again just for fun- I would refuse. The impending GRE examination has done no good either, almost dividing my day's time into sitting in office and then studying for the exam. Neither did Federer's or Manchester United's loss help, further saddening me- being the only instances when I watched TV in the past month. I have found lots of reasons to complain and the will to fleet away to home despite stipend, but I'm discovering slowly some of the enjoyable possibilities- especially after GRE exam passes. Till then, I can remember the glorious days in Netherlands and anticipate (or hope) some good times here before I leave for home (for good).

Bringing Momos for Others: Game-Theoretic Analysis

2011-05-03T15:41:00.007+05:30

Consider the following scenario:

Yet another Sunday evening, the dismal mess food provokes me to undertake long journey from the hostel to SDA- about 2km- on foot to have some momos. The long journey alone is mundane, so looking for company I enquire if my neighbor would like to come along. Rather than being affirmed I meet the reply “Bring one for me as well”, to which I retort agitated not affirming as well and thus he protests “If you're going anyways, what's your problem in bringing one for me? I will pay for my part!” (of course, as if I was supposed to pay for him otherwise). However it's not as if the packet of momos is heavy. So I sit down to introspect whether not bringing is simply sadism. However, it's better to analyze the situation using Game-Theoretic Analysis.

Assign payoffs to the each of the following activities (Subjective analysis):

Walking till SDA: -5
Eating Momos: +4
Eating in mess: 0
Company while walking: +2

By contending myself with the mess food, the payoff would be 0 while by walking all the distance alone I get a payoff of -1 (< 0). For my neighbor, the payoff when I bring him momos is +4 else 0. However my neighbor getting a higher payoff is no justification for me not helping- after all, this isn't a zero-sum game. The following tables would help:

Table 1: The case when I bring him Momos

Payoff(me), Payoff(him)	He goes to SDA	He doesn’t go to SDA
I go to SDA	+1, +1	-1, +4
I don’t go to SDA	+4, -1	0, 0

Table 2: When I refuse to bring him Momos

Payoff(me), Payoff(him)	He goes to SDA	He doesn’t go to SDA
I go to SDA	+1, +1	-1, 0
I don’t go to SDA	0, -1	0, 0

An important observation would be going alone has a lower payoff, for me as well as him. Assuming both players (me and him) to be rational, the natural tendency in both cases is to goof off in the hostel, than walk the distance. So the sentence “If you're going anyways” is wrong. But if both don't go as a result, the payoff for each player would be lower than it would've been had they both gone. An important difference between Table 1 and 2 is “not going to SDA” is no longer the dominant strategy for either player in Table 2. In Table 1, the only Nash Equillibrium is (Don't go to SDA, Don't go to SDA), while Table 2 has two Nash Equilibria- (Don't go to SDA, Don't go to SDA) and (Go to SDA, Go to SDA).

Since the players are rational, in the first case both players would try not going and expecting momos by the virtue of the other's hard work, as a result of which none of them ends up going. Contrary to that in the second case, the rational players would choose between the Nash Equilibria and would reasonably opt for the better Nash Equilibria, so both players would get to eat Momos. An important difference from the standard games studied is here decisions are not made behind hidden doors but rather each player knows the other's decision. Thus they can work out a decision in cooperation. When players decide together, it wouldn't be rational to expect players to arrive at a conclusion where one player gets a higher payoff than the other- both expect equal payoffs.

If one of us goes while the other doesn't, there is a disparity in the payoffs.

The case from Table 1 in such a scenario can be dubbed as exploitation as explained above.
The case from Table 2 is unable to equalize the payoffs, nor raise my payoff. The proposition that one of us goes while the other doesn't means there is a failure in cooperation to go together. So the going player is not reducing the other's payoff, he is just not increasing it (which may sound like a regulatory measure to avoid being taken for granted next time).
The going player would try to equalize the payoffs- i.e. he would assign a cost per unit of payoff the other player gets to benefit from his benevolence, or simply attempt to equalize their payoffs. In the instance of equalizing payoffs, he would charge cost worth 3 units of payoff so that the payoff matrix would now look like:

Table 3: The case when I bring him Momos and charge per unit of payoff

Payoff(me), Payoff(him)	He goes to SDA	He doesn’t go to SDA
I go to SDA	+1, +1	+2, +1
I don’t go to SDA	+1, +2	0, 0

Thus we observe the going player can make profits rather than being exploited using this method. This new situation has 3 Nash Equillibria- (Go to SDA, Go to SDA), (Go to SDA, Don't go to SDA) and (Don't go to SDA). Importantly, none of them are Strict Nash Equilibrium. In such an environment, players may choose Nash Equilibria probabilistically- mixed Nash Equilibrium. In fact, going to SDA is now a dominating strategy for both players. The option where neither of the players go (and thus lose out on momos) is almost ruled out.

The above analysis can be considered as an analogy to exploitation, regulation methods and entrepreneurial incentives. In the last case, we establish the fact that an entrepreneur invests an extra effort where others are reluctant or lazy to do the same, although each of them desires the final output. Thus the passionate and willing ones invest efforts in this direction, benefitting all players in the process at the expense of a meager cost to avoid disparity in payoffs thus eventually making some handy profits.

I Hate Public Welfare

2011-04-22T20:31:00.002+05:30

(Pre-Script: Many people I know, don't consider Library Secretary a worthy enough post of narrating the account and would rather enact Mess Secretary supervising the kitchen and utensils because it enables a higher scope of money-making. This post is for the others.)

Now that my term as Library Secretary officially terminates, this is what I have to say. My SOP itself stated “Welfare, I believe cannot be accomplished without a selfish motive”. So true, so true. But worse, the selfish motive I meant then is totally different from the selfish motives I seek today. It happens something like this. I enter public service considering myself a visionary, seeking to cause some reforms and 'spread literary culture'. I swear, this is my aim then. There is someone else as well, who maybe considers himself the same or has some other aims from this position of responsibility. The system, being that of a democracy, demands we would contest an election and the one with maximum votes wins, meaning I join an alliance which would grant me votes and beg people for votes so that I can win. Now you may ask, if improving the system was my aim as well as his (if it was), how did it matter who did the job? I make myself clear- I seek to change system according to my own vision. Majority grants me the vote and I win. Now starts my task.

I create a Google Group with keenness, start creating a transparent system there about the magazines. Disappointment catches up with low participation from the beneficiaries. I also look forward towards a portal creation facilitating hostel students to exchange books amongst themselves by providing information on the books with each student. This would spread the literary culture. Soon, I meet a guy my age who has created a start-up facilitating a similar portal in his college, and earning revenue out of it. I put in the same efforts as does he, but his payoff is much higher than me. What do I get if I implement it – satisfaction, you would say? I apologize, but I am no zealot.

Now starts the bulk of the task, where new books are to be bought. Meanwhile, I have documented the books in the library already and pasted them in notice boards. Same for the list of magazines which have been subscribed. Procedure for books demands an initial budget to be passed, taking a considerable amount of time, to be followed by visiting vendors, bringing multiple quotations following through with delivery order. The work definitely involves lots more than few signatures and compiling a list. So, do remember at all instances the cost of welfare is not zero and needs a lot of investment of time and energy. Some complaints have started coming about absence of new books, even though the budget hangs in a limbo whilst others complain about disappearing magazines from the library. That frustates me, I swear it does. First, the people shouldn't be stealing them. Even if we forget ethics for a while, I am not a damn police officer. So the cost of welfare is increasing- enduring foul words to help these people eventually. The inevitable question haunts me- what do I get out of all this? Satisfaction- bullshit! There is no joy in helping people, who aren't willing to help themselves (minute steps like joining the Google Group). Certificate? I'd rather doze off, and still manage one. But then, I do get an answer- someone tells me (not my conscious). I am obliged to them since they voted for me (and I asked for it then). True, true.

Analyzing things by give-take relationship, the topic is highly subjective. How much to work am I obliged? I've got lots of paper-work done, made numerous phone calls, even trips, maintained databases. I even make myself transparent, putting up lists of books everywhere and displaying bill as well to interested people. I take a vote. I may draw the barrier myself to where the giving terminates. I feel I'm not obliged to work infinitely, since there is no intermediate return and the work ends up being taken for granted- “What's the big deal if you worked? You were obliged to!” Thus I seek personal benefits in the work I do- more than satisfaction and obligations, as I've already drawn the line. I realize the books still remain pending, partially due to the ineffiency of the dealer, partially due to the delayed budget approval and the rest I own up, due to my own unwillingness to work day-night. It is an unfair system, where the person responsible has no bonuses and a fixed return, irrespective of the work. I believe, the secretary for instance should've an official quota of books he can keep for himself- a proportion of the purchase. I see, selfishness is being an increasingly accepted norm and rather neccesitated in the name of competition especially in the private sector. On the other hand, in public welfare where returns are considered immaterial and the people expected to be altruistic. They are expected to selflessly serve the selfish ones. What a farce! Selfishness should be an accepted norm in public welfare as well. Till then, I hate public welfare!

You are a Communist!

2011-03-26T23:53:00.003+05:30

A few days ago, in an early morning International Economics class while the Professor was sharing some views on how Globalization and Free-Trade have impeded the growth of the developing nations, came a comment from the guy sitting next to me (not loudly): "This guy is a communist". The tone was humorous as well as derogatory. In a class where he was supposed to tell the merits of free-trade, this guy was teaching the cons of it.

This I have found is quite a general trend. I won't comment on whether this is specific to India, or the rest of the world as well! However, in India the reason is pretty clear- fed by American movies, pop-culture and economic growth in the post-liberalization era Indians have few reasons to be pessimistic about free-markets, globalization and immense capitalism which they believe has put India as the 2nd fastest growing economy today. Moreover, a crumbling and corrupt defamed Government provides hardly any reason to be optimistic about the alternates.

However, the matter is of tolerance to other's views. India boasts about Freedom to Speech of Expression. The masses have not investigated deeply into the facts, statistics and policies and other factors affecting global trade. They believe what the media says. The media prints what sells among the public. Thus it is a circular process of getting updated with the news, while being fed with views which are your own. This is one factor in itself, what promotes intolerance in people.

With immense choice, if a publication boguses the perception of the masses and maybe is more correct than another which praises the public view, the audience will shift towards the latter. To retain its sales, the former would have to slightly neutralize itself to the latter's methods. Thus bigotry prevails within people, sticking to their opinions and expressing intolerance to other's views. Thus, hardcore capitalism in the simplest of explanations suffers from drawbacks.

Yet while expressing discontent with this system, people don't argue much and rather end terming you as a 'Communist'. I don't admit to being a Communist myself ,but I think even a hardcore Communist should have a say rather than being silenced. Being a Communist is not a crime, nor is it bad. It did have its own drawbacks, which brought the collapse of USSR as does every system. Yet it draws hostility. What's worse, views which can be remotely connected to communism are termed communist and not heard. It can become a nightmare for the intellectuals! Intolerance I feel is in the air, and Freedom of Speech is a hypocrisy. It's not the Government, who is the perpetrator of the rights as is portrayed by the media, rather it is a group of citizens towards other citizens. The only hope here is, you are not jailed if you are perceived as a Communist (as Communism is famous for jailing you if you not a Communist).

Youth is the Future of the Nation!!?

2011-03-13T23:44:00.003+05:30

(Pre-Script: Devoted to the recent politics season which concluded, in which I was a mere spectator this time. However the claims made involve past-experience as an active part of it and conversations)

The furore with the messy political conditions in the nation are quite widespread, alongside a belief that the youth of today can change the conditions in the years to come. The top is rotting due to the old men at the center with conservative non-progressive views. If it were the youth rather, with the modern liberal views and high-energy levels they would have drastically changed the face of India. Especially the guys from the premier institutions are capable of reform. These aren't essentially my views, but ones which I come across quite often.

The positions of responsibility provide such an exposure to the students, in a miniature scale to make them capable of changing things at the national level at a future stage in life. However, there are a whole lot of students who view these as a source of boosting chances of a higher placement package. It doesn't end there, as a long-term means to achieving more money. The fests they organize involve huge sums of money, and they are highly involved in siphoning money by forging bills, getting dealers involved (from Old Delhi especially) in sharing profits and thus being an integral part of the corrupt process. Moreover, there is an understanding between the parties concerned to diplomatically state "Our own money is stuck, and our bills are pending". True, the events do get organized- crowd turnouts do happen as expected- and the mission is accomplished, but so did the Commonwealth Games in the end. The projected democracy is a huge farce as some of the coveted institute posts end up with "only one interested" candidate to hold office while some people are abstained by force(QC). Votes are sold, deals are made and a rare proportion votes for whom (s)he considers a deserving candidate.
At times, such as in the elected posts who don't have to conduct a fest, the Secretaries choose not to act for public welfare resulting in public losses since they end up paying for the facilities in the mess fees. I don't mean to comment, the students holding positions of responsibility should act selflessly towards public welfare.

But the same stands for the people in power at the center. The nation increasingly expects them to work towards public welfare, with a minimal fixed salary (the equivalent of a certificate) and criticizes them for working towards vote-banks. Of course, working towards vote banks is the logical thing to do, if you are to avoid siphoning money (there has to be some dynamic incentive). It's just that those who demand youth replacement at the centre would do no better than the ones currently at the helm, and would work with the same aims, incentives and means. Money would continue to be siphoned, power would continue to be misused even if it were the young.
The only difference which would occur when the youth would replace the old would be the fervency with which activities would take place, which would mean the pace would increase and stagnation reduce but also money would be siphoned with an increased vigor and at a higher pace.

Quizzing

2011-02-22T00:42:00.008+05:30

Q1. Founded in 1952, the company's headquarters are located in Stamford, Connectitut with offices in Los Angeles, New York City, Tokyo, London, Toronto and Sydney. One of its previous names was Titan Sports Inc. The first conducted event was contested by Jack Delaney and Paul Berlenbach. The current CEO, who shares his name with his father went against his father's wishes to began an expansion process and venturing into entertainment rather than sport, fundamentally changing the industry. How do we know the company today?

Q2. The authors of this book achieved immense success after its publication in 1998, founding a company with a part of the book's title as well. However one of the co-writers of this book filed a lawsuit on the other co-writer alleging 'that her ex-business partner and his wife are enriching themselves, diverting assets and wasting money in a business that she claims to have helped build from scratch'. The lawsuit invoked debates to their actual contributions in the book. In 2008 finally, they walked seperate ways as he paid a certain sum to her, as she sold all her interests in the company to the husband-wife duo. Which book (and the co-writers)?

Q3. A Physics Professor at NYU, in 1996 ____ submitted an article to Social Text, an academic journal of postmodern cultural studies as an experiment to test the magazine's intellectual rigor. The article which was titled 'Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeunatics of Quantum Gravity', which proposed that quantum gravity is a social and linguistic construct and was subsequently published in the Spring/ Summer issue of 'Science Wars' of Social Text, was later deemed by ____ to be liberally salted with nonsense but he had made it sound good to flatter the editor's ideological preconceptions. This whole affair came to be known as ___ Affair or ___ Hoax, and is famous in the Science Wars between the Post-modernists and the academia. Who is the physicist?

(It may not be workable, but I strongly felt people should know about this)

Q4. X runs a public relations firm named Vaishnavi Corporate Communications, and also operates through subsidiaries such as Neucom, Noesis Strategic Consulting Services and Vitcom Consulting. X recently made headlines in Indian news for all the wrong-reasons (generally, that is why you make headlines in India unless you are Sachin Tendulkar!). Who is X?

Q5. Ata-ur-Rahman (Pakistan 2000), Henry Williams (South Africa 2000), Maurice Odumbe (Kenya 2004). Who recently joined this list as the youngest player in this non-exhaustive list?

Q6. This industry shares its names in West Bengal and Andhra Pradesh, but the name (in 1932) emerges from a locality in Calcutta (which was the major centre for Indian _____ ) and X (X is the major center for American ____). The name of this industry went on to inspire the more famous Mumbai-based industry.

The industry in Andhra Pradesh has earned a handful of Guiness World Records, and the Prasads ____ in Hyderabad is the largest of its kind in the world.

What is the name of the original industry?

(The first two ___ are the same, the third one isn't. The name of the industry would be a give-away if the ___ were revealed).

Q7. On 4th July 2006, Sanath Jayasuriya's knock of 157 off 104 balls helped break a record, which unfortunately didn't make the headlines. The record still hasn't been broken (but not many non-quizzers are aware it occured in the first place). Jayasuriya was helped by a stand of 149 with Sangakkara and Dilshan's unbroken 117 off 79 balls. Which record?

A generation of leg-pullers

2011-02-07T18:36:00.004+05:30

Sometimes we are serious, the rest we prefer to be light-humorous moments. Inevitably, mostly the humor gets based on laughing at someone (or thing). Mood overcomes rationality, teasing often gets directed at someone else having what we aspire (never confessing this).

For instance, my department-mates utter the word Netherlands, Orange or Holland often while finding me nearby and laugh-out-loud (LOL indeed!). This is despite the fact each one here aspires to go abroad, and would grab the opportunity if handed.

I don’t claim to be different or more rational in this regard. I participate in speaking non-sense and littering the FB wall of a hostel neighbor with absurd jokes, when he is speaking to a specific girl on phone or converses on Facebook with her. Again, this is despite everyone’s desire of speaking to girls themselves and half of us looking forward to girlfriends.

At the root, leg-pulling (fake teasing) tendency arises out of jealousy. In moments of fun, we choose to ignore that feeling to enjoy. However, this influences the serious moments as well, where the realization of a possible jealousy gets washed away believing otherwise, thus increasing the intensity of “acts we call fun” each time, rather than tackling them with rationality analyzing the matter deserves to be more than a laughing stock, with the other possessing our desires.

PS. To those leg-pullers, who claim Netherlands experience made me abuse India more, as I said earlier there was always dissatisfaction with India in me (who isn’t?). The trip just exemplified the validity of a few theories.
To those, who feel I despise everything Indian, please keep your ears open when I praise Indian food above Dutch ones, Delhi Metro-stations, Bollywood actresses (not comparing) and wonderful Hindi slow music (movies do suck!) and certain other things.

Vicious Cycles

2011-01-24T22:18:00.007+05:30

Following strikes by auto-rickshaw wallahs in Delhi, the Government incremented the meter fares providing incentives for them to carry the passengers without bargain and harassment. Although it was implemented just prior to the CWG, in order to preserve the country's international reputation, it was aimed long-term. However, recently the auto-rickshaw wallahs have junked the code of conduct and resumed with earlier habits of overcharging, and refusal to abide by the meter rates.

Recently, following public outrage regarding inflation Government investigation bodies raided the homes and godowns of onion sellers suspected of hoarding. Following this, there was a strike in the Azadpur Mandi Market, who also threatened to go on an indefinite strike if this wasn't stopped.

Very recently, a government official-a collector was burnt alive near Nashik when he challenged some local adulterers of oil.

Thus being a honest government official in India includes risking lives, watching helplessly as possible perpetrators of crime hold strikes when being investigated- i.e. very less freedom to carry out their work and open mockery of rules incepted into the law. These are just a few instances of such behavior. "Uncivilized" behavior by commoners is easily witnessed in bus, railways, public offices.

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In turn, the bare minimum accountability which the Government offices offer leads the citizens to believe the uselessness of demonstrating responsible and ethical behavior, thus providing them a means of justifying themselves with excuses of officials compelling them into the same. (which at times, maybe a harsh truth) Newspaper reports reflect the same.
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It is just one of those vicious cycles, which has no beginning towards the end.

PS. I have digged out this complaint number against non-complying auto-rickshaw wallahs. All residents of Delhi, let's use this to end this vicious cycle.

Of course, it is offensive to be questioned and raided on charges when you are innocent, but if they are innocent then what's to fear. Moreover, there must be a system where in case the raids are proved pointless, the Government must reimburse those raided.

Conversations

2011-01-23T18:47:00.004+05:30

Just to close my blogging chapters on Netherlands, I would conclude with a few memories of street conversations.

(Just after getting off the train to Leiden from Schipol Airport on the day of arrival, I ask a random fellow the system of bus)

Man: Bus No. 43 to Hotel Het Haagsche Schouwwege. The ticket can be bought from the driver, but if you buy a pass from the bookstore you will find it much cheaper.
Me: Thanks. I don't know where the bookstore is. Can you help me?
(A few minutes later, he returns to the place we were standing after seeing enough time for bus arrival with me after I have bought the pass from the bookstore with him)
Man:You see zones on this card. The driver would stamp at appropriate number of zones according to the destination.
Me: But I am new to this place. I don't know how many zones it should be between places. What if the driver misuses this fact?
Man (now serious): Listen. I may cheat you, all the people here may cheat you, but a Government official- never!

(*** Now wonder, if we can ever say that in India ***)

(At the World Cup finals public screening at Stadhuisplein, Rotterdam. A group of young guys are amazed to see a non-Dutch in the colors of orange and start chatting with me)

Bob: Oh, you are interning at the University. How old are you?
Me: I am 20 years old.
Bob:Wow, you look much younger. I thought you were 15.
Me:Nevermind, you must be the same age I suppose. 20-21 years.
Bob: Dude, I am 16.

(Although train travel is too expensive, there is a 40% discount card with 5 years validity in which you can take along with you, 2 people. This scene is from the Delft station, there were many similar incidents. I am yet to buy a ticket, haven't decided where to go exactly. I approach the hottest single girl in the station. )

Me: Hey, which station are you going to?
Hot girl: Rotterdam Centraal Station.
Me: Hey, me too. But I don't have the discount card. Can I come along with you?
Hot girl:(thinks a bit) Yeah, sure.

(** The longest such journey was with a girl of my age from Utrecht to Den Haag Centraal- 1 hour. Damn, why didn't I take her number or email ID **)

Chocolates, Beer, Architecture, White Party- Adventures at Belgium

2011-01-13T01:09:00.011+05:30

There are many reasons why the tiny country of Belgium, ruled by the Dutch till the 19^th century should be famous across the world. I witnessed some of those stated above.

Having left for the cities of Antwerp and Brussels (not Brugges, since I had never heard of it then), at a mere cost of 35 euros (I multiplied it by 60 then) on 26^th June, 2010 (Saturday) few hours in the morning after the Spanish girl departed towards her home country, getting down at the station was promising with the Antwerpen Centraal qualifying as the best station witnessed by me till date. Tourism was well-planned from my side, with a list of places to see in my hand and taking a map from the Tourist Information Centre. At the exit of the station was the familiar Hotel Radisson, coupled with a unique architectural style, but disappointments started springing soon as the city famous for its diamonds had most of the diamond shops closed, due to a weekend. Furthermore, as I walked down the alley, it went more tiring as I traveled circular loops unable to locate places in my map apart from the vacated roads which didn't cheer me up. Moreover, monetary constraints compelled me to buy Fish burgers (1+ 1 free) and save one for the night, due to the high prices. Surprisingly this country had too many people from the subcontinent, especially in the retail stores. However, things weren't supposed to end on a disappointing note, and as I kept walking in search of the places I wanted to see, encountering few markets and tourist attractions as well on the way- disappointment prevailing, all was undone when a gang of street performers attracted huge crowds with entertaining dances on the road. This unique experience brought back a smile to my face, as I was to encounter few more of these jolly people along the happening road- called Meir.

To my delight, this road led me to fancier markets as I found out the world famous Belgian chocolates (which were very expensive) but I bought some. Tired, and sitting often on the way near fountains and wonderful stoppages, finally I found the first name on the list- Rubenshuis, a collection of the artistic works of Peter Paul Rubens, and this being my first tryst with European medieval art amazed me to good extents. Then I acquainted myself with the water body (I don't know its name) which makes Antwerp one of the major ports in the world. There were pleasing sights, wonderful markets but tiredness was taking hold of me, as I sat for above an hour and still couldn't walk much at a stretch after getting up. The architecture deserves a mention consistently, with almost every home and shop having a unique carving on itself. The street-entertainers caught my eyes again, keeping the mood on a high. However, a distinct loud noise led me to a nearby source of volume- a place called the White Party, where all wore white clothes, people were dancing and spectators looked from outside. Later, I came to know I was witnessing an occasion to celebrate the rights and freedom of the homosexuals, this being an annual event. As daylight fainted and despite my soaring feet, I followed the direction of sounds and crowds, I entered a huge version of what is called mela in India- rides, games, lots... Exploring this place for a whole two hours, and finally spending a few euros on the attractions, I exited roughly at 12. It was on my way back to the market where I was sitting earlier which had me paranoid as highly drunk young guys and girls, almost seemed violent and out of their minds. Needing a place to sit, toilet and a place away from the cold I couldn't stay out for long, and finally decided to spend for the first time on a beer- as I entered a bar! Belgian beer was waiting for me, but I couldn't understand how it was better than other variants (all are bad). Nevertheless, I sipped it for four hours intent on avoiding the expenses of hotel. The only way my plan for beer backfired was the fact, beer induces sleep which was the last thing I needed. Finally, after being able to sustain no more with one glass, and not willing to spend more, I exited towards the station. The wait for a train to Brussels was approximately an hour, and unable to go outside at the Brussels Centraal Station- as everything was closed- I slept at the station unconciously for two hours.

However, the Capital of Europe was to offer more disappointments, as Sunday almost each shop was closed for long distances- which I undertook despite the pain in my legs- due to Christain ritual of holidays on Sundays. Hardly any stores were selling the famous Belgian chocolates here, so all I could do was marvel at the even more wonderful architecture of this city. Uphill and downhill slopes were regular and unexpected, with statues of great warriors along the roadside glamorizing the well-renowned Belgian architecture. I never visited the tourist marvel- Atomium, due to the long distance on foot, and my unwillingness to spend on a bus (now I do repent those decisions not to spend). After long walks and some wonderful sights, thankfully many souvenir shops were open- the exact thing I was looking for- all run by Indians. Thankfully, the money-mindedness of the Indians didn't let them celebrate Christianity's holiday on arguably the most touristic day of the week. I bought some, boarded the train back to Rotterdam where I had to wait for an hour for a bus to Delft.

The adventures for the previous 40 hours had been of a completely new sort, enthralling but at that time, I criticized myself for conducting that trip- primarily as I was alone throughout the 2 days. Unable to wake any longer, after cooking I slept- for the next 14 hours.

Unfair is the Name of the Game

2010-12-29T01:31:00.004+05:30

I can't believe it, but it is true. Even now that it has been done to me the fifth time, I can't help cribbing over it. It's the unfairness of the game which prompts those reactions each time. The game isn't life, but grades. Life has been an oscillating journey, mostly fair but this game has let me and my prestige down consistently for the past two and a half years.

The glass (of my college life) is now half-full (or half-empty whichever way to perceive). The grades were elevated this time- from 6.53 at the end of 4th semester to 6.634 now, still a little below my 3rd semester grade of 6.643. The SGPA (semester-grading) was a little better at 7.00. Facts apart, here I shall crib. Unfairness enters here. This time the game was played differently. Tactics were different, sincerity was different and the mission as well. The sad part- results almost the same. Bowing to the trend of electing fraud courses, convincing my brain about the extreme importance of grades (more than understanding and concepts) and working a lot harder- the seriousness levels were entirely different. This time, unlike others, there was a motivation to perform, and if once my heart questioned why I was doing it, my brain easily replied (and silenced it) by a simple answer- grades! So where did I fail?

6 courses, 1 lab- 25 credits. Out of these, only 2 Mathematics courses (termed as genuine) for which I invested efforts, multiple times any other course were the spots where I faltered at the final hurdle. After succumbing to a mosquito bite and being admitted for dengue, thus missing the minors, I had to adapt to the pressure of writing down too many re-minors within too short a duration, within too short periods of notification and just before the majors, and the submissions of assignments, projects et al.

I would concede, without lying, studying for them gave me an advantage going into the majors- already prepared despite the hell life became for me, full 3 weeks. However random scheduling, strange questions (or checking?) by Professors undid me to a good extent. For example, the environment reminor which the Professor suddenly schedueld the next day, getting sandwiched on the only day between my other 2 Maths reminors (naturally I didn't prepare for it). The Maths exams however went nicely, except that later the Professor would point out I misinterpreted the question of 4 marks (which would later mean a grade), despite almost everyone whom I asked to interpret it thought the same as me.

The new attendance policy- calling for a deduction in grade below 75% attendance in a course- demonstrated my lack of seriousness as I satisfied the criterion in each of the 6 courses (thankfully 3 of them didn't bother). The rest 3 apparently feasted on my continual pleads to show mercy (which they finally did- Phew!). With my awesome preparations into the Maths majors and expectations of 8 each, I had to content myself with two 6s. The environment course- seemingly easiest for a long time- gifted a 5, after being chucked out by the Professor unwilling to redeem for his faults in the paper, and rather handling me negatives (Yes, this exam had negative marking!).

The lazy electrical teacher- winner of many accolades in the past, unable to deliver even 0.1% of it- showed me hope and horror! Handling me 27.5 marks out of 30, and hopes of a maiden A (10), later he deducted 4 marks, left a spot of ambiguity about my reminor marks (which he never conducted but promised to adjust marks himself, never showing me the marks) as I was left to beat my head, when handed with a 8 surprisingly. Why when I complain here, didn't I complain to him? Because, he left to Australia that day! Random grading in the lab reiterated the unfairness, the repetition of tragedy of my stay at the haven which is a dream of millions of Indians- getting worse than analyzed worst case. Expecting ~ 8.3 the day the majors started, I had to contend with a 7.00- but that's the game, isn't it?

Modifying my rules, myself to compete like others in the game, I confess- I lost! I would crib however, to eternity about the senselessness of the grading system, the unfairness of the academic system. But I can crib and stay depressed or learn to live with it. So, I will have to contend myself with the latter.

Death Note

2010-12-24T21:23:00.003+05:30

I wanted to devote an article to the anime which changed my perception of them, and gripped me to itself for multiple reasons. Death Note is a creation of the Japanese writer Tsugumi Ohba, a 37- episode series, first aired in 2006. Here is a brief on the theme:

Just like in Hindu mythology, Yamraj kills people, apparently in Japan the same work is done by ugly looking 'Gods of Death' called Shinigamis. They know a person's life-span in advance, and when the instant arrives write his name in their own 'Death Note'. Incidentally, a Shinigami drops his own Death Note into the world of humans, where it is picked up by Yagami Light- the brighest student in his class. Confused by the dilemma of using its power, Light (later known as Kira) decides to improve the world for better, eradicating those who commit acts of evil. The means of death is almost surely a heart-attack which rouses police suspicion of the deaths not being coincidental, and the involvement of an investigative team headed by L (using a fake name) to stop the killing of inmates. The debate to whether Kira actually is improving the world is central throughout the series, and L and his team decide Light doesn't have the right to kill anyone. Challeneged by L, Kira often deviates from his path to kill those standing in his way. But there is more to the story, with both L and Light's extreme intelligence leaving us dumbstruck often, with the excessive twists and plots in the turn as Light continues working towards his ideal world, while L on his quest to stop the 'murderings' by Kira.

The character of Kira had a strange resemblance to my thoughts- to change the world in my vision, sometimes at the expense of personal luxuries and doing off with characters who didn't use their talents for the betterment for the world. In fact, for the first time did I find a character with such a broad ideological overlap with me.

However, the anime allowed me second thoughts into my aims- not due to Light's own fate, but rather due to the crazy things he does and the silent transformations he undergoes with the power to decide other people's fates. Overall, Death Note has an amazing plot and implicit debates on sensitive philosophical topics. Unpredictability (and thus excitement) is high. The soundtracks (especially when blended with the original video) are fabulous. But for me, the most exciting part was still the thoughts of Kira and its moral validity in the real world. I would recommend everyone to complete the series of Death Note, before opting for any other series.

P.S.

1. Thanks Piyush, finally you managed a good recommendation. Kira was indeed a psycho just like me.

2. I would use the label 'Books' for this post, as I don't want to create a new label Anime.

Tourism at Bombay

2010-12-16T01:30:00.006+05:30

A lot of people have asked me the same question. I toured the finanical capital of India for a duration of one week (5th- 10th December) with my family. The question- what did I do, all this long? Somehow I have mostly been unable to answer considering Bombay isn't the most tourisitic place entering someone's mind, but being my first time there, my excitement led me into the trail of discovering things all week long, never realizing I actually carried out touristic expeditions for a whole week in Bombay. An overview before penning down what I did. The guest house where we stayed was in Cuffe Parade, near Colaba Market- Jolly Maker 3 to be precise- walkable from the World Trade Center, Bombay- the majestic sea visible from the windows, making it a highly favored location. Despite the vicinity of all major locations on foot, Taxis continued to be the favored mode of transport when I was with my family. Here is a brief of what I did:

5th- reached the guest house at 7 pm. Went to see Gateway of India, boating in the sea, inside the Taj Palace (reconstructed after being burnt down shamelessly by terrorists)

6th- Juhu Beach, Cafe Mocha, Bandra Market (for the first time over the wonderful Worli Sealink), Marine Drive

7th- Tarapore Aquarium, Hanging Garden, Kamala Nehru Park, Meeting with friend (Prashant) near Churchgate Station, Colaba Market

8th- Elephanta Caves, Crawford Market, Dinner at NSCI with family friends

9th- Relative's home (lunch at the Taj, Lands End, Bandra- a touristic site in itself), Bandra seaside (in front of Mannat- Shahrukh's residence), Market along Victoria Terminus (VT)

10th- Bombay Stock Exchange or BSE (not allowed inside), Essel World/ Water Kingdom, Oberoi's Trident (just a walk insider), Marine Drive (an ideal farewell)

Apart from these, I traveled lots on foot and used buses, and other modes of public transport to explore yet another metropolitan. There were even places which I didn't visit, but wanted to- like Haji Ali (which we passed almost every day). As a resident, we often ignore the beauty of our own city. For some moments, we need the eyes of a tourist to view our own city and appreciate what it has to offer. The seas of Bombay mesmerized me, and I was amazed to see stark mind-set differences in different parts of the same country.

Animal Farm

2010-11-17T21:40:00.003+05:30

(As promised, my other review for the HUL 238 course, again provides the ability to comment on the narrative without divulging the plot. I believe it isn't a spoiler.
http://hul238.blogspot.com/2010/11/animal-farm.html)

Although today George Orwell is primarily known for his masterpiece 1984 (which brought him much-deserved controversy and fame), the saga had begun when Animal Farm was released in 1945. An allegory, a political statement, a satire- Animal Farm is a classic example of what a small novel (read, novella) can do to the reader's mind. Having been suppressed for a long time in Britain before its release, Orwell described at as a "self-imposed exile of the people".

Orwell attempted to draw parallels to Soviet tyrant Josef Stalin and his policies, which despite their oppressive nature made him a popular figure in the media in US and UK, due to Soviet's alignment with these countries in the Allied Powers in World War II. Orwell wrote an essay with the novel, which is available in some of the issues. Just like 1984, it is a classical example of dystopian literature and has also made into the
Time Magazine's Top 100 Novels of the Century. Ever since serving NKVD during the Spanish Civil War, Orwell had been anti-Stalin and was wary of the spreading Stalinism elsewhere including UK. The book has found its place in pop-culture, and lines such as “from pig to man”, “four legs good, two legs bad” have been extensively used. In one of Orwell's lines himself “I saw a little boy, perhaps ten years old, driving a huge carthorse along a narrow path, whipping it whenever it tried to turn. It struck me that if only such animals became aware of their strength we should have no power over them, and that men exploit animals in much the same way as the rich exploit the proletariat”, which made use the analogy of animals to represent slaves among humans.

The book is very small, and divided into a few chapters. The tone is variant, but the pattern can be noticed easily. Although it begins with a huge ray of optimism, with every passing chapter (indeed page) pessimism keeps on encircling the narrative. Thus the deterioration in the enthusiasm is consistent. Music is a key element in the narrative, as even the novel begins with a song when the 'intellectual' boar- Old Major inspires the rest with tenets of 'Animalism' through the poem "Beasts of England", which is sung throughout the novel by different characters at different points of time, and in different tones. The other one liners like "Four legs good, two legs bad" also appear musically throughout the text.

The scene of Animal Farm is itself a caricature of Soviet Union, with each of the characters in it finding an analogue in the Russian Revolution. Old Major can be compared to Karl Marx himself, Animalism to Communism, Napoleon- the pig to Stalin, Snowball to Leo Trotsky and so on. Just like in Soviet, the inspired animals rebel by physical force and kick out Mr. Jones,who had been mistreating them till now and gave them minimal part of the produce. Mr. Jones can be compared to the ruling class Czars prior to the revolution. Tenets of animalism, with Seven Commandments are established summarized as "Four legs good, two legs bad" and centered out "All animals are equal". At this part of the novel, the tone is mysteriously funny as animals think for themselves, conspire to be above humans and self-ruling. A sort of bathos is also built indicating the Utopian dream shall never sustain.

Such undercuts are evident in warnings issued by the writer as he attempts to build the expectations of an idyllic world in parallel, such as “But the milk was stolen”, suggesting a smack of corruption. The tone for disappointment begins quickly as the pigs claim intelligential superiority to the others, and thus start commanding the rest. But the turning point occurs when among the two pigs- Napoleon and Snowball- apparently warring for the final authority over the decision, Napoleon becomes the tyrant by blatant use of physical force on Snowball in such a way, that Snowball is never ever seen.

However, Snowball’s image perseveres and becomes a scapegoat for every act of failure, which occurred due to lack of Napoleon’s capabilities declaring in the end, Snowball was never with animals and was an ally of Mr. Jones. Life under Napoleon often is reflected as worse than under Mr. Jones, with Napoleon’s and Squealer’s (his spokesman) continual insistence that whatever they did was “for themselves”. The line when used many times arouses pity in the reader’s mind for the animals who actually seem to have lost their power to reason, and accept all the betrayal, lies and oppression of Napoleon, without even the thought of rebellion. The seven commandments are modified, but the animals who couldn’t read can’t perceive it. Benjamin, the donkey, the only one who can see through it all is rather depicted as a nihilist repeating the line “nothing ever changes” and thus doesn’t take interest in inciting a rebellion.

The mockery of commandments, tenets of animalism incite pathos for Animal Farm as Napoleon imitates humans in every possible sense, as the rest can just watch and the hardworking horse Boxer repeats his lines “I shall work harder” and “Napoleon is always right”. The cruel ending Napoleon has in store for Boxer surely leaves the reader with hatred, and not just pity. The novel gets darker, as Orwell seems to be able to make his point progressively. One can compare Benjamin with the skeptics inside and outside Russia, while Boxer compares well to the dedicated and cheated supporters of Stalin.

The ending is again dark, without a tinge of hope for the reader and the setting gets darker than ever. All the hope in the beginning has entirely vanished, being replaced by typical Orwellian pessimism of much higher magnitude. The suppressed is unable to comprehend their own misery, and is made to live under illusions. Overall, Orwell manages to make powerful comments about Communism, apart from singling out the tyrant regime of Josef Stalin. He shows what power left to concentrate in the hands of a few people, unchallenged can do. "In general, the novel reflects how greed, indifference, wickedness would destroy any possibility of utopia". (Wiki) Despite its small size, for anyone who has been moved by his magnum opus 1984, Animal Farm is a must read.

1984: A Novel

2010-11-13T19:03:00.003+05:30

Introduction: After writing the following blog-reviews, I wanted to post them on my personal blog as well, since I liked the experience of analyzing the masterpiece without divulging much from the plot.
(http://hul238.blogspot.com/2010/10/1984-novel.html)

1984 is one of the classic examples of dystopian literature, and was chosen among the TIME Magazine's Top 100 Novels of the Century. Terms from the novel have now become common usage in contemporary lives, such as 'Big Brother', 'Thought Police', 'Room 101' and even 'Orwellian' based on the author- George Orwell.

Although named as 1984- a Novel, it is much more than an ordinary novel. Viewed as a political satire and as a commentary against English socialism, Orwell rejected it and said it was mainly his concern for a purely totalarian world following World War 2, and the Nascent Cold War which propelled him to write the novel. Orwell considers it “a warning, not a prophecy. I set the story in Britain to show that English-speaking countries are not above happenings of this kind: that totalianarism, if not fought against, can triumph anywhere”. Some believe it was Orwell's prophecy for the year 1984, while some believe it to be the reversal of the last 2 digits of the year in which it was written- 1948, there are many other possibilities regarding the name such as centenary of the socialist Fabian society founded in 1884, or the poem 'End of the Century, 1984' by his first wife.

1984 is written as a third-person narrative, although Orwell often makes huge digressions to get us into the mind of the protagonist- Winston Smith. Divided into three parts, each part has been written in a different tone. The first part introduces the reader with the political setting- the land of Oceania, the Party, its ideologies- Ingsoc, the language it uses- Newspeak and its hideous policies of Thought Police, Doublethink, Crimestop in a very calm manner, without making it seem repellant in the text. The slogans of the party are repeated at regular intervals such as “Freedom is Slavery, War is Peace, Ignorance is Strength”, which in effect familiarizes the reader with the world of Oceania allowing him to dwell in it. The contradictions of the world are reflected where Ministry of Truth falsifies past, Ministry of Peace indulges in War and suchlike. The pervasive image of Big Brother with moving eyes accompanied by the line “Big Brother is Watching You” serves as a constant reminder about the scrutinization of activities, words and even thoughts by an authority who never reveals himself. Lack of trust between any two members is evident as the Party members are bred with a hatred towards enemies, whose existence is questionable till the end of the novel. Throughout this part, the tone is that of constant fear, of being overheard, of deprived freedom with intermittent intrusions of hope, such as when he visits the proles “If there's some hope, it lies in the proles”.

The second part of the novel has a completely different tone, although the same setting. The tired protagonist desperately searches for some hope to instill a revolution, and search for like-minded people. In one of the “Inner Party” members- O'Brien he expects a similar hatred towards the party, but only on the basis of instincts and no firm beliefs, since it is impossible to have one. In this part, he comes across the girl he despised earlier- Julia, just to start loving her endlessly here. The change in tone is now evident, with lot more hope and a regained will to live. Julia and Winston must commit even the act of sex away from the telescreen, lest they be arrested for the “crime”. This part involves a lot of adventure, philosophy and blissfulness compared to the other two parts. Although Winston is committed towards a mass change, Julia is concerned more with evading policies that hinder her personal freedom. Winston encounters optimism in this section getting to meet O'Brien in person, who instills a “belief” in him about “Brotherhood” which shall revolt and kill Big Brother. In the form of a book, Orwell brings forward his philosophies on power, totalarianism and utopian societies which for the reader takes the form of non-fiction effectively. Thus the numerous instances of evading surveillance, finding like-minded people and above all, finding love bring traces of optimism in the otherwise dark novel.

The third part robs the novel from the developing prospect of a revolt, when Winston has been arrested for committing “Thought Crimes” along with Julia, although they never see each other. The tone of the novel gets darker even than the first part, as the setting is in the prisons of Ministry of Love which deals with torture to the criminals. Apart from mental harassment and lack of freedom, here he is subjected to physical harrowing in attempts not of confessions, but to rectify his memory and get him to “love Big Brother”. There is no hope whatsoever in the writing style, and each page directs the reader towards a more horrible state than before, as the Party declares hatred and its propagation apart from retention of power immortally as its sole aim. The troubling diktat of the Party is heard "Who controls the future, controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past". There are scenes of shock, when Winston can't identify himself, instances when he cries for mercy, in pain and the final scene of torture when he pleads to transfer his torture to Julia. Pessimism surpasses all the precedented levels, as Winston's rebellion has diffused by the end of the novel.

Thus, Orwell writes in varying tones being able to bring forward his concerns to the audience in a devastating manner, making the possibility of a totalitarian world seem so real and leaving the audience terrified through the much appreciated piece of art.

Next: Animal Farm (http://hul238.blogspot.com/2010/11/animal-farm.html)

Differences: Free value of things

2010-10-31T00:43:00.003+05:30

Surprisingly after a long break from blogging, despite numerous recent adventures I would prefer to continue the series I commenced on pointing out the differences I noted between the two countries where I dwelled for at least a month.

The difference this article focuses on is having to pay for every small thing there, which I have been pretty much used to availing without charge at home. For an example, consider a supermarket where one would expect being handed with a polybag after emptying the trolley to transfer my purchase. Rather, it was only when I asked for it, they handed over the packet (with the supermarket's advertising logo) with the reply “20 cents”.

As another important example, consider a visit to McDonald's. Of course here we are entitled to availing as many ketchup sachets as we wish, after purchasing a combination of burgers and french fries. Due to the inertia of my habit when I asked for it rightfully, I was astonished to listen to the reply “50 cents”. Although mostly, I turned it down sometimes out of desperation for devouring the ketchup and the shame of refusing, I paid it. It marked quite a significant change in lifestyle.

For a final example, consider visiting a public toilet and being stopped at the entry demanding either 40 or 50 cents before you can release your pressure. That too, despite the immensely high taxation rates averaging at 40%. Similarly, a place as important as Central Station had no provisions for free toilets. (however inside train, it was free) Similarly, drinking water is free but from taps. Tap-water is consumable without any fear of water-borne diseases (completely unlike India), but if you still want packaged water, either as bottle, glass or can; be ready to pay in the range of 2 euros.

Surely such a system becomes annoying at times, when urgency needs the compromise of losing out on cash, but I wanted to analyze the pros of the system. The primary point is, 20-50 cents although meager being more than 0, nothing can be taken for granted. Not utilizing these cents would imply misusing the money, which even many careless spenders tend to avoid. Thus, the customer despite spending power isn't treated like a king (the bigger shop you enter, the more you are treated like a king) and knows his limitations. Although in India rarely commodities are sold for free, a lot of provisional complimentary products have seeped into our life broadening our vision of birth-rights.

In fact, I have noticed people in India verbally abusing (or surpassing accepted decency levels) waiters for not being given enough ketchups. Lots of things have begun to be taken as granted. Contrarily, though the middle class in Netherlands is much richer, they have lesser birth-rights as a capitalist customer.

The Power of a Tiny Mosquito: Dengue Chronicles

2010-10-10T20:59:00.005+05:30

Although the media had been busy criticizing the Organizing Committee for the Commonwealth Games, and the people around me more interested in the exams than attending events, I occupied myself procuring tickets and finding an optimal day for visiting the Games with someone. After a long futile search and multiple website crashes, credit card problems, luck seemed to have sided in the end, as I successfully bought tickets for Tennis semis on 8^th October- a day prior to the commencement of our exams. But then God played Murphy, and some random mosquito ensured the happiness wasn’t going to materialize.

On 5^th October, as I woke up to a mixture of inner peace and physical pain, I had to spend a significant part of the day with unfathomable pain and harassed in the hospital in my college, where the queues were long and the facilities ridiculous. As I waited in the queue for my medicines, the chemist sipped tea elsewhere and when finally I was given the drip after being rudely addressed by the nurse, it was opened an hour later although she had to loosen someone else’s drip and I was released in the ridiculous condition, with suspicions of dengue but without

confirmation. The reports of the blood test the next day meant I was leaving for home with my father, was going to skip the exams and alas, must miss the Commonwealth Games. And with this realization began my stay in the hospital. On the brink of believing I was getting cured sooner than expected, to shivering, crying in the night, to staring at the walls almost emptily and sometimes with thoughts, it provided me a necessary experience in life.

The initial prick of the cannula, continuous head-aches and several other pains brought a desire in me to be writing exams rather than going through this phase. The swollen left hand and the nurse’s order to prick another cannula into the right hand didn’t just me nervous, but literally crying. Apart from these, I had the misfortune of being diagnosed with a kidney stone and undergoingUltrasonography, X-ray and CT Scan. Finally, on 10^thOctober the date for release came, and I could breathe freely into the open air again.

The extreme free-time for thought made me change perspectives as the private facility at the hospital and the efficient and kind services, diluted my views on capitalism a lot. As a result, I concluded to give up intellectual growth for a few years, and change my focus to the more urgent need in life- girls.

Tragedy of Berlin: Kicked out at Amsterdam

2010-09-24T17:09:00.004+05:30

Ever wondered what it takes to have a near-utopian society? One of the factors is a strict system of regulations, the lack of which we have been misusing and complaining of ,for decades in India. After being harassed infinitely by strict Dutch regulations, due to which I got my VISA one day prior to my flight, I became victim to the same strict regulations yet again.

Given the choice of visiting any country in the world, although Netherlands would have been among a top few prior to my visit due to my love for the color Oranje, the topper would have been Germany due to its rich history, and being the host to the tyrant Hitler. Thus when I received the offer to visit Berlin for 3 days, free of travel charges I couldn't let my mind contemplate all the possibilities and succumbed to temptation to say Yes. It happened something like this.

One of my Post-Doc friends at the University knocked out-of-the-blue at my office, and informed me a girl who was supposed to go with him, was unable to come due to last-moment commitments and asked him to take anyone else along. Since the ticket was meant for youth (below 26, subsidized rates) he approached me with the offer. The offer was promising, with 3 days in Berlin only at about 60 euros. I browsed the net, making a list of places to visit in Berlin. Making up my mind to skip 2 working days and unable to face my Professor, with this abrupt decision of mine, I wrote him a mail later. The reply later on would bring a smile to my face, after the harassment later on in the night.

When I saw the ticket one hour prior to our departure, I realized how I had overlooked some obvious facts overwhelmed by the excitement. For instance, the name on the ticket was not mine. It had a Chinese-sounding name. Worse, it was prefixed by a Miss. Unable to decide what to do, I got consolation when my friend showed him the other ticket was booked against his name and we would talk our way out with the authorities, about the last moment cancellation by the girl. (According to us, it was obvious- who in his right mind would take a guy rather than a girl, given the opportunity?)

Thus at around 8 (CE T- Central European Time) in the night, we left Delft for Den Haag (The Hague in common English) from where we had to board our Eurolines bus to Berlin. The bus was scheduled for 10 pm. We decided to enquire with the authorities before leaving whether it was allowed to do what I was doing, but there wasn't any tourist information for the Eurolines buses. Thus, when the bus arrived we rushed to the driver and I showed my passport, telling the truth. But Murphy played his cards, and the driver was one who didn't know a trace of English other than the word Berlin and allowed us inside. One hour passed until we were joking, and I was shedding off the panic. However, the bus stopped at Amsterdam which was at 11 pm, and we were supposed to get down at the Amsterdam Checking Bureau, who would provide us with passes on our e-tickets to cover the rest of the journey. The panic returned, just that it was worse. The guy at the Bureau knew perfect English, but was inconsolable to bend the rules and allow me to board the bus, since my friend explained the situation.

After pleeding a lot, the only thing he said was "Man, it's not me who makes the rules nor do I make the prices". And thus, my friend left me alone on his way to Berlin as I was stranded in the middle of the night in the capital and 15 euros away from Delft. Panic, repentance, lack of judgmental abilities- all enveloped me as I didn't know what to do. Determined to make the most of my 15 euros, (for my otherwise vacant round-trip) I toured the City Center for another 2 hours in the night. Although the markets and other touristic things were shut down at the later hour, Amsterdam's famous notorious areas were well-awake in the night. Young boys and girls make the night colorful with their hootings and all sorts of stuff in "The District", but somehow alone even that bored me after a while.

Sadly, I could never visit Berlin and came empty handed from this round trip, spending 15 euros for no purpose due to the temptation of saving 90 euros. Also, I encountered the stringent rules which didn't allow space for corruption and even sentimental black-mail, and which must have been a crucial factor in the progressive methods of Netherlands.

It was my worst day in Netherlands then, a tragedy and the only thing which brought a smile to my face on my return was the reply of my supervisor:

"Have a good trip to Berlin. Studying math is one thing, studying foreign contries is another academic experience."

Differences: Self-Service

2010-09-14T16:06:00.006+05:30

Going by my description of Netherlands as of now, it may seem to be an extremely comfortable place in all aspects compared to India. But let me give a few reasons here, why it may not be the same and why life would be tough in that place.

Undoubtedly, India is one of major economies as of now resisting the economic downfall, and much of it has been due to the private sector. For most of the corporate ventures, the primary agenda is to serve the customers and ease their life to every possible extent. Although the corrupt public sector hassles the common man regularly, if you have the money, business ventures will walk an extra step to pamper you, and get things done for you at your doorstep. Surprisingly in that highly-developed country, things seemed quite the contrary. For instance, I will describe a 3-star hotel where I lived and compare the same to an Indian one.

According to my personal experience in India, some staff member collects the luggage from the car on customer’s arrival delivering it safely into the room, as the receptionist guides us through the formalities. There is a room-service number, but some room service staff makes sure we don’t have to call him, and bangs often to deliver prescribed services by the hotel.

Contrarily in Hotel Het Haagsche Schouwe, Leiden where I stayed for 12 days as a participant in Conference, my experience with such services was amazingly different. Although the prices were high, when I entered after a long journey via flight, train and bus, no staff member was present at the door, as I made way into the empty security-less door with my heavy luggage guiding myself to the reception where they handed me the keys with a smile. I had to drag the luggage myself into the room (though via an elevator). During my entire stay, not a single staff member for once entered the room to deliver services, except once when my roomie specially requested to get food for him from somewhere outside. When I faced any difficulties, I went to the reception myself and the problem was solved within minutes.

At my accommodation in Delft, I stayed in private student-housings. There were three types of rooms- one where 4 people shared kitchen, one where 2 people shared a kitchen and the last type was single room- the one I was given by the University. The moment I entered, I was confronted with an instruction sheet about regular cleaning of kitchen, bathroom and room. Regular checks were viable to be conducted, especially when you were about to leave, where heavy penalties for failing cleanliness levels were there. Although I came to know, for the single rooms the cleaning people cleaned the facilities once every week themselves. Despite that, I took to cleaning stuff myself. But when the cleaning ladies came, they told me off for not keeping it clean enough, despite being paid (which they can definitely not do in India). Thus the facilities which we have been used to all our life, like having dishes washed, kitchen and utensils cleaned, floors swept, garbage picked up by someone and bathroom cleansed were almost absent. People must help themselves (rather than spilling off money).

In stations, tickets could be printed by ticket machines which accepted coins and credit card payments. There was the facility for human service as well, for the same but then tickets cost 50 cents more in all such cases. Similarly in other places like Supermarkets, petrol-pump where you were supposed to fill the petrol yourself, walk to the payment machine and make the payment. There was camera surveillance. Basically I felt, people were made self-dependent to every possible extent with the help of mechanized alternatives and with lesser money incentives for availing the same.

In the University cafeteria, you can pick anything for food from the items kept there and then walk yourself to the payment counter with either cash or credit cards. It all happened so smoothly, without requiring a regulated mechanism to carry out the same. After eating, people got up and kept the plates in appropriate slits for washing by walking an extra distance (so unlike India). Self-service had imposed discipline in them as well.

Thus although the customer makes the payment for services (more than India), he is not entitled to be pampered by the businessmen. Even though maids and floor-cleaners are present, they are registered by the Government and the employer must pay taxes for the same. This avoids exploitation as well, by the rich of the poor thus heading towards a more equal society at every level. Despite the apparent less friendliness of the service-providers, just ask them for help and they deliver it with a bigger smile on their face than in India and said Thank You and Welcome umpteen times.

Thus I feel many Indians from the upper-middle class and the richer ones, may find it difficult to adjust there. But I had anticipating such a model, where people help themselves first and only then sit down to complain.

Adventures: Spanish Girl

2010-09-07T16:39:00.004+05:30

“Very often in your life you will find a girl, who will divide your life into before you met her and after you met her.”

The quotation almost speaks for itself. This post is about a girl who almost divided my stay in Netherlands into chunks before I met her and after she left. Despite knowing her name, and having shared it with at least one person, I would refer her name with the name I used with everyone else ‘The Spanish Girl’.

When I was transferred to my new apartment in Delft on 18^th June, I was confronted with the tough task of understanding how things function myself, especially the internet. Desperate for help, I knocked at every door the next morning in the neighborhood. Although the corridor seemed totally empty, thankfully in one of the doors someone opened and helped me. And from that very moment for a week, my mind allowed me little liberty to think about anything but this angelic girl who stood here at the doorsteps, having left me almost open-mouthed out of lust.

Of course, this wasn’t love. Nevertheless, it was a severe case of infatuation. I couldn’t help acting in the kiddish ways, strategizing every moment to be with her. Unlike the conservative Indian society, thankfully I was within her room in a day and invited her to mine as well. Alas, she was an Exchange student from Spain and was due to leave home within the next week. Moreover, she wasn’t alone and shared a kitchen with three other people, who seemed like a closely knit group. Thus she spent her time with them and being the new guy, I often avoided interrupting them and thus wandered desperately in the corridors like a haunted soul. Nevertheless, I did end up interrupting at times and I knew I didn’t do it well.

Finally, on 25^th June (yeah the same date 2 years later) she was leaving. For long hours, I kept thinking of an appropriate farewell gift so as to seal myself in her memory. Nevertheless, I wasn’t willing to pester her in the traditional way telling how much I had been attracted to her, when it would do me no good, while may end up annoying her. Thus although I initially I prepared a gift, in the form of a note with drawings of Spainish flag, Indian flag, a balustrade dancer (she liked dancing) and the words ‘Que Sera Sera’ it became the only gift of my life which I withheld. After being advised by my sister, I bought a chocolate for her. When she came to bid me a final time in my room, I was prepared for it.

Handling her the chocolate, and bidding goodbye in 4 different languages (should have been 6- if I remembered Hindi and Bengali for goodbye), I felt it must have been one of the most dramatic goodbyes she would have received. Before leaving she asked me how Indians greeted while leaving. Like a true moron, I spoke “Hand-shake”. We shook hands, and when she was leaving I said “You forgot to bid me in the Spanish style”. This was a last resort, to have a memorable goodbye, and was one of the wisest of my life, as I got a tight intimate (at least I felt that way) hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was blushing, and clearly became my best day of my stay till then. It was a fantastic adventure, and virtually divided my stay in Netherlands into the two parts mentioned initially.

Differences: Security

2010-08-20T20:56:00.005+05:30

One of the pressing issues in India at the moment, I was bound to note the differences in security in Netherlands. Despite the flaws in security system here, I am not willing to speak about it. I will tell the differences in the planning, not the implementation (implementation here loses hands down to the implementation there).

Consider a Supermarket in India selling goods of day-to-day use. Although the number of cash counters is very few, the numbers of security men aren’t. There are men at the door, and other staff members who start asking if they can help in case they find an idling person for long. Despite the presence of CCTV cameras, I often catch the eyes of a suspicious staff member.

So the surprising difference was despite being at least 6 times as large (back in India, I noticed the size of the whole store was the size of one of their Supermarket’s blocks), the entrance doors were automated and not a single security member was present even inside. The concept of malls was almost absent, but huge shopping centers bigger than almost every mall were there, which had the same security status. None provided their services asking what we wanted, although many staff members would be busy arranging products et al, and would help happily if asked for. Apart from that, there was huge technical backing (for example, machines to tell cost of products, sign boards, product dispensers) to help ourselves and be self-reliable and not pester the staff members. Of course, there were cameras but I didn’t know if any of them was looking at me. Maybe, if I had picked up a small thing and put in my pocket it would’ve gone unnoticed. Of course, I didn’t commit such a stupid crime. Nor did anyone else (I suppose) as everything proceeded peacefully in order. There were many cash counters for exit, as well as an empty exit in case of window shoppers (often me) where maybe it was possible to leave without payment.

At the hotel’s entrance, not a single member stood at the doors. Anyone could enter, and there was ample scope to plant a bomb and cause havoc. In the markets, I could enter any shop and wander any corner for it as long as possible. Often I spotted the perfect opportunity to commit some minor theft. However, I never committed it for two main reasons: out of fear of the unknown and as a repayment of the trust instilled by the system on me. In trams, you were supposed to get the ticket stamped for yourself from numerous machines inside although there was always the option of getting it stamped from the driver. On the roads, despite the almost sure absence of a policeman, not even the cyclist broke the red light and even the pedestrians waited (pedestrians crossed the road, if there were no visible cars in reach).

At large, it seemed to me that the authorities trusted the citizens of the nation and vice-versa. However, I got a better view of it after asking a few people. On one instance, the person being asked was a female shopkeeper. There were souvenirs inside as well as outside her store. The latter I felt was highly vulnerable to theft. I picked up some stuff to buy from outside, and when I went inside (frankly) to make the payment, I asked her “What if I didn’t make the payment and ran away. How would you know?” She smiled and replied, “Of course, there is a camera but I don’t look at it all day long. So all I can do is, I have to trust you. Either I keep an eye outside all day, or trust. Sometimes young boys do take away stuff, but mostly they don’t”. On another instance I happened to ask my Ph.D. friend (Greek) while roaming in Amsterdam in a souvenir shop with similar situation, “Why doesn’t anyone pick up something, when no one is watching?” Stunned he replied, “I don’t know here, but in Greece maybe someone in the public may shout at you for doing it. Maybe if it is some small food item, you are hungry and no one will say anything. But not something else, because then you are stealing to be rich.” When I asked my supervisor about their adherence to the rules, he said “If you are caught breaking the law, the fines are so high you wish you had not done it. The officials don’t spare you.” In the specific case of traffic lights, he said “Well, if I break the light the chance of an accident increases and we don’t like risking our lives. In case, I hit a bicycle with a car, the onus is on the car and its best not to break the law.”

For me, being a foreigner, the fear of the law was much greater to break the law. Moreover, the system of trust was very comforting. It allowed me to be a flaneur and roam freely, with breathing space without being surrounded by people offering help in shops. Security, in comparative terms (at least superficially) was absent. About them, I learnt it was a mixture of fear, integrity and upbringing which let them be the way they were, and an essential drive within them to perceive things as “Right is the Easy Way”.

Adventure: Deserted in an Alien Land

2010-08-14T11:38:00.009+05:30

With my apparently increased obsession towards Netherlands, of course I was bound to face much criticism. However, that isn’t stopping me from blogging me about the adventures and lessons in the country. Thus from now, expect articles in 2 parts: adventures and differences I spotted between Netherlands and India.

Adventure

Being the youngest participant of an International Conference is always a delightful feeling, but it isn’t the same when the time for separation arrives. On 17^th May, a similar situation dawned on me as the participants left for their countries. Although I must confess, hardly anything was comprehensible to me (I remember the names Ergodicity, Pisot’s Number, Thue- Morse Word) but I enjoyed the Mathematical environment and facilities immensely, and didn’t want it to let go. The Organizers of the Conference were determined as well for a perfect ending, giving a dinner to all the participants.

The venue was Scheltema Restaurant, Leiden. Although in India, I’ve been maintaining a safe distance from alcohol (dislike for taste, its illegal status and being a health spoiler), I wanted to join them with few hours between us and was willing to experiment the drinks (especially because it was free).

The menu was served in 4 rounds- an alcoholic drink to start with, followed by salmons, main course meal of beef, and finally tea/ coffee. I chose Martini to begin, but the urge to experiment pushed me into trying a glass of red wine (half-filled) kept on the table. After the meal, I opted for a 7UP and drank another glass of wine.

Thankfully, the young participants chose to stay back a little longer, and explore the best bars in Leiden. Before leaving, we had a photography session (see pics) and I had another glass of wine. Midway the group unfortunately got divided into 2 parts, and mutually finding each other didn’t help (see Rendezvous Game). Thus, I was left with my French room-mate and the weirdest guy in the Conference- Oleksandr Aksenov (French- Russian) who wasn’t said anything by others, only because courtesy demanded the same.

Despite the knowledge of my dislike for beer, Nicolas paid me for one and forced it in my hand. And then I realized, when you are partially drunk (3 wines and 1 martini) and have a beer in hand, it becomes irresistible. To take a break for smoking, (it is illegal to smoke inside a bar) Nicolas went out for a few minutes, but never returned. Thus I was deserted in a place I didn’t recognize even in my senses, with the strangest guy in the Conference in a drunken state.

Thankfully, strange people are good and although Oleksandr walked awfully fast and I lost him at times, but always ended up finding him, and reaching the hotel safely. (Dutch streets were beautiful in the night, with cool winds and partial senses) Although I still maintain it was a careless prank by my room-mate, but I love remembering the day and can’t help laughing whenever I read this reply from Nicholas later in one of our e-mails:

“If there is no Aksenov, there is no more reason to abandon you”.

Why Socialism attracted me more than Capitalism: Dutch Beauties

2010-08-05T23:48:00.005+05:30

Just after returning from the undoubtedly 2 best months of my life, I am suffering from the inertia of relating to the Dutch ways with everything I see now again in India. Of course the thought is depressing, when I contemplate if I can ever go there again as well as amazing when I just think about the way, the days were passed. Therefore, for a few upcoming posts my blog shall only relate to Netherlands, the adventures there, the ways there and the differences I observed here and there.

One major difference in perspective now happens, with the girls here. In the past, I had been defensive about traits like natural beauty of the girls in my college, who were ridiculed so often by almost every guy around me. However this time, when I see them again, I can just ridicule at my own defenses.

The Dutch and the other European beauties have occupied my brain- left, right and center. However, taking my eyes off the campus (say into the passengers of the flight which I took), I am convinced there are beauties in India. And the best ones here may happen to be more beautiful than the average or even the highly attractive Dutch girls. However what brings a frown to my forehead is the ratio of the girls here, who can stop a man in his walk to have a careful gaze.

Netherlands, as I observed, is a far more equal country than India. The funny thing is this equality extends to beauty. While taking a stroll or sipping a glass of beer, I remember the numerous stoppages in my walk or speech, to marvel at the splendor of the beauties, who just happened to pass from there. Although initially only for the brunettes, by the end this ratio went up extremely high even in the case of blondes. To conclude, almost every Dutch girl I saw amazed me no ends- such was the equality of beauty.

However, I am convinced some of the Indian beauties I have seen outweigh most of the Dutch lot. Thus the capitalism model of India extends beyond the economy, where the rich can be extremely rich in beauty and the poor can be really hideous. On the contrary, none was hideous in Netherlands (I mean the original Dutch ones) although there was rarely anyone who surpassed the other girls by a clear margin (i.e. none was beautiful in extremes).

Personally I favor the Netherlands model of socialist beauty for the following reasons:

· They are an excellent and non-stop eye candy for the males, and they become better tourist attractions than the museums and architecture.

· Since almost all the girls are beautiful, almost every guy gets a beautiful girl as his partner

· Almost every girl being beautiful means hardly any of them has to feel poor, with some man interested in each of them. Thus the model favors the women also.

· Here the eyes have to desperately wait for some beautiful girl, and when an extremely gorgeous girl passes by, she already is a victim to a very high demand.

· With lack of beauty around us, we have to compromise with our beliefs of beauty and convince ourselves about natural beauty and stuff.

Even in economy, I never supported full-fledged capitalism, but when money is replaced by beauty I am finding myself a fan of the socialist model and thank the creator so much for this place, and for letting me be a part of this land for a substantial period of time.

God does exist !!

2010-07-22T23:31:00.003+05:30

Although I always went to temples and worshipped God, I was never a hardcore believer and not at all religious. But a certain incident provoked me to write this post.

During this incident, I said to myself "If God exists, he will save me today." I was doing a wrong thing legally, but it was out of lack of knowledge until I discovered I was doing it illegally. I did exit unharmed, and of course this is not a good enough reason for God to exist.

The point is, I have said this so many times and although many of my wishes haven't been granted, I realized at every crucial junction there was a factor of what is described as "luck" which intervened to help me pass the test. (unlike "If God exists, Netherlands will win the Finals".) In the end, irrespective of the existence or absence of God, I would like to retain a faith in some divine force which shall assist me whenever matters seem to blow out of proportions.

PS. I still maintain my disregard towards any single religion in the world, and the way they worship God, and carve stories out of it. Mythology is best when treated as a piece of literature, beliefs best when derived independently of some religion.

No cause, no effect yet Octopus Paul fretted me. Why?

2010-07-13T02:11:00.005+05:30

World Cup 2010 has just concluded, with my favorite two teams finishing as 2nd (Netherlands) and 3rd (Germany) while my initial 3rd favorites won it (I won’t support Spain anymore). However, there was a twist to the tale and much noise regarding Octopus Paul and its 100% correct prediction record.

An octopus, however intelligent, can not make me bet my money on a team. Call it prejudice, discrimination on animals or whatever. Yet I wasn’t left behind when it came to taking out my ire at Paul. Maybe, it was due to the fact the teams I supported were on the losing end. Some people have dubbed this phenomenon as a mere chance, some praise the animal’s intelligence and would research with it, while others simply don’t care. There is a theory in Wikipedia, which I find half-convincing on octopuses being color blind, but sensitive to stripes and brightness, which prompted it to choose the flags it did.

However, the whole thing reminds me of my first chat with my supervisor (in Netherlands) regarding football, who is Dutch but doesn’t happen to be a hardcore Dutch fan. His words were (before World Cup began) “Whomsoever you support, there is someone in this world who already knows who will win this World Cup, and in fact each and every match’s results.” Of course, it sounded cynical to me but now I doubt that the validity of the argument has a probability at least as much as Paul’s correct predictions. The first thing which had struck me then was Euro 2004, where Greece won- the most improbable thing to happen in football for I hope many more years to come.

Octopus Paul is not new to the prediction scene, and had made similar predictions in Euro 2008 which went wrong twice (I didn’t know this then). This time, it (or he?) bettered the record by removing that margin of error and transcending Germany’s matches to predict the result of Spain vs. Netherlands finals also (correctly). World Cup 2006 concluded in a situation when Italian football was victim to a series of match-fixing scandals, including its biggest clubs at the time- Juventus and AC Milan. All this makes me think like a (cynical) Conspiracy theorist, and conclude about match-fixing in the big competitions in football, for the past few (maybe before my birth) years.

Let me explain how Paul fits in the scene. The probability argument hardly seems convincing, as cumulative probability of a correct prediction goes down by ½ in every knockout match, and 1/3 in a group match. Intelligence and striping arguments can convince me to an extent, but not much as Paul had chosen Germany once and Spain the next time, for the same flags. Of course, I suspect a deep-rooted human activity behind the scenes. FIFA World Cup is the most broadcasted sporting event (Olympics 2nd, Cricket World Cup 3rd) and Euro ranks 4th on the list. Undoubtedly, a lot of money is involved. Assuming there exists a person in some corner of the world, who knew the results of the matches in advance (a bookmaker), it would be logical to assume he would like to expand his earnings and involve businesses. One way is to leak out the information he possesses, though in a clever manner. The live flag-choosing ceremony by Octopus Paul became a big business as time passed, attracting hundreds of viewers, and much more media coverage. Of course, a lot of money was involved (a part of which the bookmaker shares). Letting Paul make his only non-Germany match (final) prediction reflects the aquarium owner’s love for money (anyways he is a businessman). Of course keeping the news confidential involves lot more bribes, but when the stakes are high, everything is fair. Just like a terrorist serves much more purpose than killing people when he plants an attack (instilling terror within people), this bookmaker used poor Paul as the means (like a bomb) to instill this terror apart from making money, which would make football lovers doubt what they are rooting for.

Of course, none of us know how Paul was treated in the hours when public viewing wasn’t allowed, and how much training it was given or what was mixed in the mussels he chose. Thus, Paul may have served as a medium for the bookmaker to earn a lot while making an akin statement to “Big Brother is Watching You”. Of course, none of this is a theory but rather a hypothesis.

The good news is Paul has retired and shall make no more predictions. With a short life span, Paul is expected to live no longer than a couple of years. Thus, I pity the octopus for receiving the death threats (none of which it most probably understood) and request all to end their anger on this helpless creature, and look at the Underground activities that may have governed the previous Euro and this World Cup through Paul, and discourage this business. In the end, I would wish Paul doesn’t end on someone’s plate and lead a peaceful death with respect.

P.S. For the 2006 World Cup, I don’t need to look far away from Italy, as Sicilian Mafia gives me a good view. Greece winning Euro 2004, and losing their only match in the way to Russia- I find it funny not to blame the bookmakers for it.

The world of Dan Brown

2010-06-23T18:22:00.003+05:30

With the completion of the Lost Symbol, I knew it was time for me to do justice to the debate about Dan Brown and his worthiness as a good writer, by posting this article. Particularly for the novel, I would comment the ending wasn’t good, and he couldn’t do justice to the hopes of the reader, which had been raised by him only. Nevertheless, he succeeded yet again in the field where he has been a maestro- gifting the reader with yet another perspective of history, arts, famous buildings and simply of day-to-day things around us. In his language, it is described as moving into illumination.

About his writings in general, one facet which I have fallen in love with is: his world. His characters- their desires, interests, philosophies and personality- are uncharacteristic of the common people in this world, and provides me a vision for my alternate world. To begun with, the protagonist- Robert Langdon. He is a Harvard Professor in Symbology, respected worldwide for his knowledge in the field, and not without reason. His love for symbols extends beyond classroom. Even in the alarming situations including matters of life and death, he can always spare a thought to his knowledge on history and symbols, and passing the information to the people nearby. Even more interesting, the listener- usually a high official from some organization like CIA- doesn’t ask him to shut up (like people do with normal geeks), but becomes an avid listener and rather uses the beautiful alternate perspective of Langdon, to solve the matter at hand in achieving the mission. This leads to an even more interesting character- the villain or the bad guy. Unlike all conventional tales, where he turns defect for more power and money, the motivation here for him is entirely different (which maybe called strange).

The obsession of the bad guy is to gain higher wisdom, and often deals with secrets of brotherhoods- whether or not to spill it. This observation of unconventional aims- like earning more money, luxuries and leading a secure, peaceful life- can be extended to all prominent characters in his novel. Rather their aims always are centered around knowledge- the quest for it, and deciding on the time to confer it to the common man. This common man comprises of the less prominent characters in the novel, who work at orders for a secure life watching football glumly and thus lead a life, whose decisions are made by others. They have been often described as ‘unworthy of getting the knowledge because if bestowed into the wrong hands it can bring destruction’. Their seniors- powerful guys- have decided to get over those worldly desires and work towards realizing the beauty of things around and hidden knowledge in them. These characters end up with positions of power, good money and fame. A good example would be Katherine Solomon, who was described by Dan Brown as ‘She hadn’t married. Her first love had been science, and ever since her young years she had decided to work towards it, after beginning to appreciate its beauty’. Through some characters, Dan Brown expresses the need for investing ourselves more towards science, a rational thinking consisting both faith and scientific belief. He also easily makes a person, a fan of architecture with fine details and makes amazing revelations about their structures.

Overall, Dan Brown may not be an excellent author with respect to the literature and mystery, but for his research, love for science and academics and bringing out the small and beautiful things in world, I would maintain Dan Brown is one of the best authors.

Anarchy

2010-06-16T17:05:00.004+05:30

(The scene is of an Indian train)

As he munched a biscuit sitting besides me,
And his phone rang with a repulsive ringtone
He picked it, breaking the silence and order
And leisurely spoke into it, loud and louder.

The jolly couple in parallel raised their voices,
Unconcerned of their chat’s public audibility
Laptops displaying movies, followed suit
None protested, all adopted the new route.

The corn-seller announced his arrival
And keen buyers shouted their approval
A person kept door open, for self-comfort
Letting cool wind escape, being joined by smokers.

The frustrated child unable to tolerate anymore
Burst into tears, worsening the mess around
The proud parents looked smilingly in all directions
Comforting, yet pleased tears dragged others’ attention.

I felt like the child, but couldn’t cry
Wished I’d smoked, but didn’t want to try
Head throbbing, yet unable to quieten the people or child
Thought I’d join, but restrained from belonging to the wild.

Experiencing a miniature anarchist world
Where each enjoyed apparently boundless rights
I felt nauseate in the cubicle without rules
Gladly escaping at the station, from a world of free fools.

A Whole New World

2010-06-12T19:57:00.011+05:30

“When you are not sure about what to do, just toss a coin, because when it is in the air you will know what your heart really wants”.

The deep blue of the Indian Cricket team has found a replacement in all possible manners- the color, the country and the sport as now I am surrounded by Orange color of the footballing nation- Netherlands. After 20 days of indecisiveness regarding visiting this country and all the painstaking efforts which followed to obtain VISA, finally I can rejoice my entry into this whole new world. In my moments of indecisiveness, I didn’t have to even toss a coin to find out how desperately I wanted to flee to Netherlands when I found the VISA hassle obstructing my visit.

The flight- KLM Royal Dutch Airlines raised my hopes, with the TV, movies, music available along with the food and the drinks. Not a trace of jet-lag, and I knew I was approaching paradise. Landing was a mixture of fascination and confusion in the beautiful airport and the even better city, but with Dutch signboards everywhere and the knowledge of being alone for 2 months. But within hours, the positive impressions of Netherlands kept on building and multiplying as there was not a minute sign of racism, and people indeed stepped out of their way to help a confused tourist like me. The automated system driven by technology was fascinating at the stations, bus-stops and all these when combined with the picturesque surroundings gave me the sensation of having entered utopia.

Within hours, I noticed the differences in people- they were self-reliant, even in the hotel there was nothing like constant room service and they were dutiful. And the absence of room-service and the other door-to-door services made me glad, for here people weren’t pampered and knew money didn’t grant them the right to be lazy, or an expectation to be mollycoddled. In the streets, it made me wonder what made the people stop at the traffic lights, even the cyclists, without the presence of a police. Thus, I had a firmer aim- to study Dutch administration and people’s mentality. After reaching the “International Conference” I dwelt into a plethora of facilities like an office for myself (shared with 3 others), PC, password, a coffee mug and a key apart from accessories around myself. The workshop coordinator guided me nicely, and even more pleasing was my first meeting with the Professor who would supervise my intern- jovial people, treating me as a friend despite the age and country (and qualifications) difference. There were lectures of high level which I didn’t understand but nevertheless attended all, unless I began understanding slightly. Apart from the infinite supply of coffee, tea and juice, there was the wine/ cheese party and an auspicious barbecue dinner at a beach, letting me enjoy every moment to the fullest, and at times shout from within “Yippee, I am in Netherlands!”

I developed friendship with an interesting duo of a PhD student and his supervisor (University of Surrey, UK) who were comfortable with my British accent and joked about religion, people, politics and maths. I ventured consistently in learning new topics of Mathematics and being successful at a rate, I hadn’t anticipated. The Greek guy with whom I am supposed to work for the project (yes, I would work with a PhD) occasionally paid for my lunch, and spoke to me very nicely. Even girls are friendly (and hot- the Mathematicians being the hottest till now). Walking alone in the market for 4 hours felt heavenly, as light doesn’t fade here till 11 in the night (Dutch standard time) and the orange streets regenerated the excitement within me, as I even ended up buying 2 pieces of the Dutch jersey in different shades. Every aspect of this new world has thus become entertaining, and although I know I must return to the nation where I was born 2 months later, I have been planning full-time about how best to tap this opportunity and live to the fullest.

Sports Quiz: The Loss and the Host

2010-05-26T19:59:00.003+05:30

There was something unusual this time, in the preparation of the quiz, something which made me count this quiz as a defining event in my life. Maybe it was the fact, that it was to be broadcasted on TV, or the mere fact it was my first opportunity outside the confinement of the walls of IIT. As the days passed, I rediscovered my glamorous past and my obsession with sports, as I took out the delicately designed quiz books, Olympics notebook, and Euro 2004 notebook with exclusive rounds of Citius, Altius and Fortius in them. These all contributed to my confidence, about a glamorous show on the morning of 21st, where for the first time in a few years I was to compete in my field of quizzing, despite the disadvantage of having been an alien to Television for the past 2 years.

Night prior to the shooting, we were treated as lavish guests with free A/C accommodation, travel reimbursements and anything we wanted (though they didn’t provide me with internet, even when I asked for it). However in the morning, I got to know what TV shooting is all about. Having us wait for an hour (in another Air-conditioned room) filling documents, we proceeded to make-up room, after having been instructed the clothes we must wear, the way we must behave on stage and while coming down off it. One thing was clear-for the organizers the quiz and the questions meant far less than the lights and the drama.

After mock rehearsals with an unattractive host, there were butterflies in my stomach on seeing the extreme gorgeous figure of Mini Mathur, standing in front of our eyes, looking better than ever seen on TV sets. And from then, it was neither me, nor one of my opponents who dominated the show, but Mini. We did multiple retakes in the mock rehearsals itself at the behest of the organizers, but when Mini made mistakes she kept speaking as if nothing happened. Not that it had to be telecasted that way only, but the producing team would edit it later. Mini controlled, defined and dominated the pace of the shooting from then, well almost. For a show where she was playing anchor thrice a day, she didn’t remember the lines surprisingly and they were being displayed on an animated TV screen in front of her, where technical glitches made her angry giving the producers another dosage of an outburst from her. The thing which I consistently observed was this: if Mini boasted of passion, she was a big liar. It reflected from her, where she consistently kept on with how her time was valuable, how the producers were lazy and most notably when she stopped in the middle of a question, turned towards the audience and shouted: “Audience, Shut Up”. Coming to the audience, they seemed to be a dummy set of people paid for a day to watch it, and asked to be total robots until instructed to. These poor people were reprimanded on chatting, while the others sat down for rest. I just wondered, if it was the same for all the TV shows. It exposed the film industry to me, how much they were actually passionate at doing the roles and how much they actually were attracted towards the money. Although Mini apparently got more money for the series than the overall winner, without knowing an iota of sports, it was she who seemed to be frustrated the most. After the end of the show as well, we were made dummy participants standing in our original positions while only Mini did the scenes. Seemed as if it was a consolation to Mini to tell her, there were more people also accompanying her.

Anyways, coming to the quiz. The result- I lost, not closely rather in a humiliating fashion. The level of the opponents turned out to be far higher than expected, only when I saw them. I recognized two of them, one was an organizer of quizzes in IIT, while the other was the national winner of the ESPN School Quiz Olympiad. The other 7 weren’t either pushovers, all of them seemed to have come with the same passion as me. In the mock rehearsals, I was 3rd which obviously boosted my confidence, but at the end of the actual 1st round I was last. My knowledge of Commonwealth Games, Indian sports and rules of sports were limited even today, and sadly I had made the mistake of skipping them again in the preparations. In the end, I was eliminated after the 3rd round, finishing a dismal 9th (tied 8th as per the score). Of course, I was disappointed for such quizzes don’t happen daily, and I couldn’t believe I had actually lost it. Worse, the script and the words making brave losers of us, (who never lost hope but were unlucky at the end) made me question whether even an iota of the words said by Mini were from her heart. I left the stage with a bad experience of the loss, and contemplating the dynamics of the film industry, their claims of passion. Anyways, the stay was good and I won’t deny it in the end- it was once in a lifetime opportunity, the facilities, the luxury was marvelous and I am happy to have been there.

4th Semester Analysis

2010-05-16T01:45:00.004+05:30

In terms of results:

Elected as Library Secretary, Jwalamukhi Hostel by a margin of 39 votes
Nominated as Director, Editorial Board, Entrepreneurship Development Cell (EDC)
Editor-in-Chief for Infinite Epsilons, Issue 2 (Maths Department Magazine) also
Cleared the Prelims of the Sports Quiz (shooting for DD on 21st May)

Awards:
Awarded Significant Contribution to Board of Students Publication (BSP)

Academics:

SGPA: 6.27
CGPA: 6.53
Grades:
MAL230- 4
MAL146- 5
MAL250- 6
MAL342- 7
EEL308- 7
EEP308- 8
HUL239- 8

Public Relations:
Went down ridiculously. Friendships aren’t the same as before. Hardly anyone to trust.

If I would have to rate this semester on a scale of 10 overall, I would put it at par with my SGPA, i.e. 6 point something. It dawned on me how poor it had been, while Tripathi sir handed me the major scripts of Combinatorics, a subject I had chosen with passion, with the knowledge that I won’t manage a grade above 6. He simply said, “I think it is the right time, I suppose when you make the choice between Maths and Politics”. Always embarrassing to listen to such a line from a teacher, but worse it meant I had disappointed him. It meant far more than a C- grade for me, for he meant far more to me than a teacher. Friend would be an incorrect word, I suppose but definitely he has provided me with hours of talk I can’t forget, friendly suggestions, timely motivations, and criticisms and in the end valuable help with my internship. Well this line in the end was perhaps one of those. This criticism however suggested I hadn’t been worthy of the help, and of course I don’t belong to the sort who can forget their duty, once the favor has been received.

I disappointed in many ways. For I have suffered every semester at the hands of the academic system, which I have ended up hurling abuses at, but this time I can’t say much. All those times, I used to work, at the least complete the theory. This was the first semester, where not did I just be far from completing the syllabus but fell to the extent of intentionally skipping a minor examination, copied in quizzes and got out safely. Now how can I abuse anyone out there? This was the first time, when I didn’t study even the subjects I liked. I lack the focus, that’s what I received as a comment, either to be a Mathematician or a politician. A disappointment in the long run!

Yes, I am a changed person from the past year. Last year, I had entered the campus with a set of ethics which I needed to implement. This semester, I have tried out almost everything it said not to, and guess what- I have profited. Sometimes life teaches it is the unethical way which fetches way more; the world compels you to those means. But I do repent those acts, and am looking for redemption for of course I can go on stretching the subjective line of individual ethics, but it will get me closer to Satan. Definitely I can’t promise a return to following the ideal code of conduct, but somehow I again want to get started with what I had set out for. This semester has definitely not been a good teacher, and that’s all I have analyzed in the end from the semester.

Feeling lowly, Feeling lonely

2010-05-07T00:14:00.007+05:30

Ironically as things happen so often with me, the day when I was meant to rejoice the end of my 2nd academic year, I was feeling low, immensely low. And as always, not due to a single factor but a chain of factors, I plummeted into the deep pool of thoughts yet again. Was it heart-break, was it deception? Yeah, a little of both. Or maybe none at all.

Getting into relationships hasn't been something I have contemplated since the last time, I came face-to-face with rejection, but nevertheless I have spoken much more to girls this semester. And finding the names of one of those with whom I talked (chatted) maximum being connected with my best friend, (continually not once) I was in a confused state of mind. I couldn't enjoy the moment like the others, teasing him. But I was confused, was it due to the girl, or wouldn't I have accompanied them had it been any other girl as well? Definitely I was feeling jealous, but of whom? Him for being closer to her, or her for being the new source of attention for him? I didn't know the answer.

This thought didn't engage me as much as the latter one, which included yet another rejection. At the end of yet another year, some things remained similar. Friends having promised to be room-mates, turning down in the end leaving me the receiver rather than the chooser in the Stable Roommates Algorithm. It reminded me of yet another foolish compromise I made last year, allowing my two good friends to be room-mates even when I would have been preferred by one of them, in his first thoughts. I saw it as deception, not because I didn't expect it altogether but just because it was a breach of a promise. All these days, I was finding the lack of principles of friendship in even the best people around me and the tendency to get involved in give-take relationships increasing. And it was yet another of those sessions where my mind didn't rest without thoughts, when my friend- someone I relied for constant friendship, turning me down for better benefits elsewhere. It hurt because I now knew he didn't agree to my principle of 'friendship over choosing local optimals', and also because I somewhere felt again I was being exploited. I don't even know if people around me have realized, the amount of help they extract from me which I have rarely turned down. Maybe not, because I am incapable of teaching them during the exams.

This feeling of nausea became dominant, realizing even he had been at the receiving end of helps from my side. Not that I wanted him to repay for it, but if he followed the principles of give-take then I supposed he was compelled to. Things continued as usual, others rejected me with equal ease (as always), me being the lone one standing besides a satisfied lot. It felt low, as if I was missing the self-respect yet standing with these people. But then, I knew the truth. Things shall continue this way for the rest of the years, and I may have to learn adjusting with it. In the end, everything helped to make me feel worse- him, her and his roommate.

PS. In this post without names, I would like to congratulate Gautam for his project and comment that I found him, an exception to this rule of no friendship.

Academics returns to hassle me

2010-04-18T12:23:00.003+05:30

Kudos to my carelessness, after a span of about a year I can again feel the pangs of miserable underperformance academically. What’s worse, the constant excuse of having to pursue non-departmental courses can’t be used this time as despite having an excess of Mathematics, I have almost emulated the horrible results of last year. Yes, that’s an excuse maybe I can give. There was an excess. Never mind, I know I was at fault.

My attendance records are a statistical proof of the same. Luckily despite being so careless, I have been iterating counters of absents in every subject. Compared to about 20 absents last semester, I already have absented almost 50 lectures this semester. Forget tutorials, they don’t even enter the picture. There was a decision I needed to make about priorities in life, and funnily I relegated academics below the position it deserved. So a comparison between the classes missed before Minor 1 and after it:

Subject Name ( Classes missed before Minor 1; Classes missed as of 18/4/10) :-

MAL 230 (Rao) : 1 / 9
HUL 239 (IWE) : 2 /8
EEL 308 (Comp Arch) : 0 / 6
MAL 146 (Combi) : 0 / 4
MAL 250 (Probability) : 0 /4
MAL 342 (ADA) : 1/ 14

Though my minor 1 performance wasn’t typically bad, as in some subjects I scored below expectations, in others well above, but there were things I wasn’t content about. Seeing Vipul’s lax attitude to attending classes and academics, despite having tried to inspire him once, I preferred to adapt his model as the classes increasingly seemed redundant boosted by a desire for sleep and a fresh morning, rather than wake up to the Professor’s reprimand for abysmal class performance, conquered my desires. And just then Entrepreneurship Summit, mid-sem break and political season interfered to leave me in a state of no return as with 2 days remaining for the minors, I contemplated the worst preparation of my life. I had a decision to make; yet again I chose the escapist one, though I call it a strategic move. The choice between finishing my political quest and concentrating on academics- and I chose a mixture. That isn’t what is expected of the cream of the nation. Nevertheless, I made that decision.

The situation suggested- with the current preparation and the levels of concentration, there was a slim chance I could score above 30% in any of the subjects. And thus I did what I envied in some of my classmates, their habit of exploiting the lapses in the system. People thought I was joking about missing a minor, until after the papers they found me in the hostel while they were writing the papers. The choice was simple; the scheduling of ADA in between the papers of Humanities and Probability within a day and with an enormous syllabus to cover made it the obvious choice. How unlucky, it was the subject I had liked the most at the end of Minor 1 and see now. Alas, things change and so did this.

I acted ill, got the doctors panicky who asked me to get admitted and I misused my poor physique with an alternating (and mysterious) sequence of burps and fits of cough. It wasn’t tough to acquire a medical certificate in the end, as I had done what I could never have imagined a semester- wait! Maybe even a fortnight- ago. Despite this (strategic) move, my overall performance remained dismal as this was the first time where I couldn’t do something as simple as stating definitions and theorems correctly. Luck played the necessary part to ensure significant portions of papers were from the parts I left.

With a disappointing minor performance and a negative attitude, what was worse was I failed to dwell into the attitude of being a relatively serious student, with my vow of attending classes after the termination of politics, wasn’t as good as the word. It was in these days, I let the counter roll to 14- the maximum allowable limit- in ADA despite promising every night before class to attend the next day’s class. Though it feels freer to be unburdened by the desires of performing well, ironically I am constantly guilty of this attitude. Despite not being an ardent pursuer of CGPA, I know I have done injustice to my interests and let the balance of life shift to one side. I eagerly wait to rediscover myself, the passionate hardworker and a lover of Mathematics.

PS. Though my attitude deteriorated so much towards attendance, Vipul finally became serious and made a huge improvement in his attendance records.

Kanthapura

2010-04-12T23:25:00.002+05:30

Novels are meant to be enjoyed, forget giving a hard time. This is what I had felt all these days, until my tryst with the course- Indian Writing in English. Having stayed away from Modern Fiction, it was hard to escape Modern Literature as the teacher seemed to be obsessed with modernism. Despite critics have acknowledged this phase of literature in many ways, for me it acquired the definition of literature which makes life tough for the readers.

Struggling through the novel ‘Untouchable’ to complete the 147-page piece in 9 hours, my expectations from the following novel- Kanthapura, another short one at 190 pages were low but since the precedent had been the worst ever novel in my life, rated in between 4 and 5, something better was anticipated. Alas, the worst got worse and the lowest rating was updated to 2 out of 10.

Raja Rao- the author- is a clever man, winning some prize exactly 50 years after the release of the novel. To me it seemed after having written the whole piece, he soon realized it was incomprehensible. And then while he was confronted with the choice of re-editing the whole draft or dumping it altogether, he sought the third option. He wrote a 2-page cheap preface, explaining the horrible language through the line- “The challenge for me was writing in a language that is not one’s own, yet in a spirit that is one’s own.” Ah! A nice way to make the readers believe that he was ready to venture into an altogether new journey for the biggest mistake of his life.

Now the core problem with the novel was the almost absence of full-stops, replaced by commas to concatenate short sentences into enormous, impenetrable and awful sentences. Sleep caught over me throughout the novel, and in the middle of almost every long sentence I lost touch with the plot compelling me to restart. Did I say plot?

During reading it, I was time and again contemplating on the absence of a plot. Even after finishing the novel, there is nothing which suggests a plot ever existed. Another of those typical Gandhian novels, where an idyllic village (filled with superstitions) is intruded by the city ways to disrupt the jolly lives of the people, who turn into an absolute foolish lot bearing the brunt of the Police’s lathis for 60 pages, and shouting “Mahatma Gandhi ki Jai”. The ideologies of caste discrimination being illogical, about cultural pride were reiterated as a Brahmin named Moorthy, desperate to be the leader suddenly one day claims to have been inspired by the Gandhian philosophies, mixes with the Pariahs (untouchables) and becomes a rebel to the Government. He waits for truth to escape him from the brunt of the lathis, but finds himself behind bars. To me, the worse part seemed this. Moorthy didn’t seem to see through the Gandhian philosophies, about the reasons Gandhi preached those ways. Just out of lust for self-purification he doled out Charkhas, did strange things and found his stunned mother dead in the process.

I found my namesake- Bhatta, depicted as a mean money-lender, talking politely to the villagers, fooling them in the process. There was an arrogant Swami who excommunicates Moorthy (I don’t know why anyone had to take that seriously). And then, there were over 100 or even 200 characters, from the remote corners of South India, all whose names ended with Amma and Appa. Impossible to keep track of the plot, if there was any. It became the first novel of my life, where I left a 27-page in the middle to reach a quick end, consoling myself it was finally over.

The writing style, we discussed a lot about it. About the superstitious old widow being the narrator, the significance of it, how she rambled on constantly without breaks and pauses. Crap! An error on the part of the writer, getting the critics engaged in unraveling the mysteries of this ‘new form of art’. For the others in the class, i.e. marks pursuers there was no choice other than to try and appreciate what gave them a hard time.

Overall, it was the worst novel of my life and I was relieved to have finally been over with it. That makes it 2 out of 2 awful novels in the course. Being the only course I am serious about this semester, I expect more from it!

Post Political Confessions- Part 2:

2010-04-03T13:03:00.002+05:30

After the minors, when the doors seemed to be closing from every direction, the post of EDC which I could have sought but could never have been sure of, I made the phone call to announce what I called a compromise- I was contesting elections for a post more trivial than Mess Secretary, for the Library Secretary rather than investing efforts in the BSP territory. Manish’s efforts to get me off the BSP post were successful, when he explained how by managing a library I could still be towards my aim of spreading the literary culture. Cautious of the loss I suffered last year, I didn’t turn the offer down and began campaigning not with high fervor but just communicating with freshers. Within a fortnight of communicating with freshers, I was already friends with many of them. Amidst all this, sentiments were provoked when my department mate- Raghu was scrapped from the post of FSC Rep- after working year-long – by Dhama side, letting me bury the habit of seeking help from both sides, and giving me (official) reasons to be legitimately with Bakshi side.

Nothing is won unanimously in Jwalamukhi and to my surprise as my opponent I found Anirudh Mehndiratta, who had been at the receiving end of a kiddish complaint from my side for ragging last year, but this time I was his opponent officially. However things were friendly- he asked me for my vote. What brought the ball instantly in my court was the ‘Statement of Purpose’, something I hadn’t prepared until the last 10 minutes hoping for a spontaneous emotional surge. However when I began writing I readily completed 5 pages, too long for a 3-minute speech. Trimming it, I reached the stage. Nervous though I was, especially after Anirudh’s speech went well except for his failure to answer the direct remark of him being a failed EDLC Representative in his 2nd year, I began the speech to chants, hoots and a great welcome- resonating with the brand the name ‘Bhatta’ has become.

But as I continued, it was a satisfactory sight to see the whole crowd lending their ears to each and every word captivated by my dominant voice, and often interrupting me with a roaring applause. I smirked and continued, glad from within having sealed my position as an orator and the ‘Lover of Literature’.

It were these lines, which went down as memorable ones trying out a new domain of political incorrectness in SOP:

“I believe welfare can never be attained with the same passion and love for work unless inspired by a selfish motivation. Now, what is my selfish motivation? ……. I see this as an opportunity to spread the literary culture amongst not just my friends, but this whole hostel of Jwalamukhi. This, my friends, is my selfish motivation”.

Gaining support from many ends, in the end I was a proud victor with a margin of 39 votes alongside my both batchmates- Tarun and Gautam (who I had campaigned for, rather than myself). In these delightful moments, I was allowed an independent nomination from Manish Bansal for BSP Hindi Chief Editor (also the controller of the Journalism Group) for which I ran to SAC, foolishly announcing in delight there about the acceptance of my nomination while taking the form publicly. Even before the form was complete, the news had spread in the institute and though I was an iota close to being sent for the post of Chief Editor, I had to back out. At this juncture, however I had no regrets and rather wanted to support Rohan for his willingness to sign the nomination form for me (on Manish’s words), and after all he was a department-mate.

The night ended on a sad note, seeing Piyush lose the elections for QC Secretary something I wanted him to win, as much as my Library Secretary. (Though I didn’t want that post, once I had filled the nomination I wanted it very much) 2 days later, came the news of Rohan’s thumping loss (for which I couldn’t blame myself as the margin was huge in the 19-6 loss), but ironically he contested for Editor, Formatting. Had I known this, I would have supported him from the start, had he provided initial flexibility from English Chief Editor. (It’s all a matter of appreciation. I appreciated Piyush as QC enthusiast and supported him as much as I could there, unlike when he showed interest for being the convener. Rohan, I have never seen as a writer lacking that passion, but he could do well as a designer and had better knowledge of formatting) Jwalamukhi emerged without a victory in the elections, as the long season of politics ended.

Maybe it was due to the agony of the past year that despite not being able to achieve BSP Editor Nomination, I found myself content winning the elections of Library Secretary. Considering that someone from the hostel should have taken the post, I would confess it isn’t the most random post I could have opted for, being a genuine lover of literature and have plans for it, now that I have acquired the victory. Of course, I have the added advantage of being known finally as one of the 5 secretaries of Jwalamukhi hostel, having added to the brand of Bhatta with a democratic win finally. I’ve been envisioning how I can spread the literary culture, and although people continue asking me how much I would burgle out of the budget, I confess to myself- nothing other than a few books for me and my friends.

Post- Political Confessions: Part 1

2010-03-30T01:48:00.005+05:30

Mayur: What would you do in case you earn a crore Rupees?

Piyush: Travel

Me: Buy the English Book Shop.

A year since those miserable memories begun of sacrificing three posts, I again felt close to that miserable feeling when I rejected all other offers which came my way, at the expense of the post I wanted the most. Somehow in the end, I went for a compromise and the end result says I have been elected the Library Secretary of Jwalamukhi Hostel, and this didn’t come as a vacant post waiting for someone to grab their hand out. Rather I had to contest an election, winning it by 39 votes over a 3^rd year student, the same one who became a part of my life within the first week of my arrival at IIT. Finally I had conquered in democracy.

However as I said, this wasn’t what I had been striving for since the beginning. My preferences were different, and it was what I had wanted for the past few months as the reward for my work towards the BSP for Jwalamukhi, earning those points working single-handedly without much assistance and even sacrificing my name in the articles. I was vying to be the Chief Editor, BSP English, IIT-Delhi. But slowly I was confronted by the realization how the mistake of compromising with Rohan a year ago, granting him the position of BSP Representative of my hostel would still haunt me on and on. Even as Rohan backed me for standing for the elections, and AIC G Sec (and the leader of my side in the institute politics) Aman Bakhshi agreed to speak for me to the other hostels regarding BSP Chief Editor, I was left dumb when Rohan begun showing interest in going for the post himself. It was in these times, I had to come across tough times and words from Manish Bansal, Rohan, Bakshi and some others who claimed themselves to be the alliance leaders. The comment was simple “Maybe you have worked more, but your PR is weak”. No doubt, I admit. Having never been a BSP Representative and been fooled by handling a dummy post as the Journalism Representative, I could never come to the fore. My correspondence and work were restricted to online communication and hardly anyone in BSP team knew me (at least as a member of the BSP Team). Unable to digest the fact, I switched to desperation trying to prove myself more eligible for the post than Rohan. Given the task of proving a stronger electorate, I begun by collecting the names of the representatives but the scene looked fictional as though count increased, it was the kiddishness of Seetha in assuming people would vote for me on his word.

Unable to gain support from within the hostel, I looked outside and allied with the biggest enemies- Kumaon. Interestingly they were more concerned about Rohan not becoming the Chief Editor than our rivalry- the trio of Ankit Prasad, Dipesh Mittal and Divyam. Although the first didn’t want him on the grounds of personal rivalry, the latter two (and me too) didn’t want him for the injustice to the post of Chief Editor he would have done had he been elected. And thus began the quest of madness, from withholding certain articles written by me towards Journalism submission, to waiting for Rohan being involved in the center of a scandal (he had played the cards wrongly himself). But due to the Chief Editor’s interest in their personal politics, the prospective scandal never surfaced though I kept trying my best. I often wondered how much I could rely on the evil Ankit Prasad, and how I was being used as a puppet. But when things weren’t working out, and Rohan got accolades for the BSP Runners-Up Trophy won largely by my efforts, the insecurity within me increased as I began walking the harsh way.

For the first time, I contacted the opposite side (named Dhama- Tandon side) of Jwalamukhi asking if they could help. Although they showed initial reluctance, the passage of certain information about Rohan into their territory gladdened them into nodding. It was during this time that the photo-shoot for BSP Magazine took place, where I focused on building my Public Relations with the reps. Having not been helped by either side in my hostel, desperately I made calls to the other hostels if they could help me. All these days, I had been rejecting my side’s offer to let me stand for the Mess Secretary of Jwalamukhi Hostel, which I had continued to turn down since I had no inclination towards that work.

Assessing the situation and talking to Bakshi face-to-face yet another time, I assessed my strengths over Rohan other than work- intra Jwalamukhi relations. And this was the time when I went crazy, wild, and violent talking to freshers, making reps out of them and asking them to vote for Bakshi’s alliance in the external elections, on the basis of my help towards them if they could talk to Bakshi for me. I somehow tried to involve Tarun and Piyush in the tale too. Piyush agreed, but his turn never came. As I brought Bhola- the Bengali lad in front of Bakhshi, it was late before I realized it had been counterproductive and my chances from within the hostel were tending to nil. Bakhshi’s final words of rejection brought tears into my eyes, and thus multiplied my efforts to avoid Rohan acquiring the post. The intervention of minor exams during the period seemed not much of an important affair, as for the first time I voluntarily skipped an exam forging medical documents.(I would write another entry on the same, on demand)

A Birthday Present

2010-03-11T02:27:00.004+05:30

As I sat down to decide for a birthday gift for Nishita recently, I was granted the opportunity by my mind to walk yet another time through the memory lane where some gifts given to me and by me, on birthdays and otherwise brought a calm smile to my face. Ever since joining IIT-Delhi, the culture of gifting each other on Birthdays has been almost done away with, and thus the rare instances when even a meager gift was given stands out clearly in the memory. But I shall come to IIT later.

I don’t think it would be surprising when I state I hardly remember the birthday gifts in the first 10 years of my life. Wait, I do remember some and this maybe a surprise for this includes a globe, a rubik's cube, a book with profiles of all contemporary cricketers given by my parents to incite the geek within me. A few quiz books also became a part of the collection within a few years, when some friends were acquainted better with my tastes. If I must choose a single gift that stands atop this heap till my schooling, I would say there was no such gift or maybe a Taj Mahal gifted by my best friend (Shobhit) when I had left Delhi about 10 years ago, which I somehow cannot locate today in my home or anywhere else. Though Karun and Anshaj’s gifts weren’t something new (except maybe Anshaj’s gift of Shakuntala Devi book to me which I already had), definitely the reflection of feelings and friendship was obvious, and they did end in my gallery.

The better part of gifts in these years were the gifts given by me actually. I remember sitting on the computer and scanning photographs of sportstars and preparing CDs for Anshaj before the exams, because both of us had been passionate about sports. I gifted him a self-laminated and self-made set of cards, with Pokemon pictures because that had been the craze that time. And of course, it didn’t go unappreciated; it was the strength of our friendship then. Digressing a little from gifts, I remember putting a sorry letter in Anshaj’s bag while he wasn’t watching after a minute quarrel to which he had replied equally emotionally with a letter, but one which I had to destroy after about a year or so just because it was filled with slangs and came to the notice of my parents. Now those were the days, and the gifts which stand out clearly in the memory. Also it was in these days the gifts of parents were the ones which become the most frustrating as they loaded me with apparels, shoes willing to project their son as a non-outdated guy. The truth however was, I never could develop the slightest sense of appreciation for them and am a slave of obsolete wear.

Coming back to the topic of IIT, the day we had registered here it was Piyush’s birthday and people were quick to make each other realize Birthdays weren’t about gifts anymore, but only treats by the birthday boy. However, I didn’t want to end on the side of the people finishing with just a treat from him, and gifted him a trivial gift worth Rs. 25 only. It was a Top-Up card for Airtel, since he had been devoid of balance and was lazy enough not to get it recharged himself. I had wanted to gift something to Pradeep also last year, but someone else had given him a card and therefore I didn’t. And then of course was the gift I received on 31st July 2009 amongst debates of where the Grand Party should be held. I hadn’t expected this gift, and I was taken to Piyush’s room but there sat Gainda (a.k.a. Gaurav Singh) with a guitar in his hand playing the tune of ‘Happy Birthday to you’. It was a moment I cherish, a moment where a song so easily triumphed over every other materialistic gift. This I must say was the best gift I could have been gifted and one for which I would like to thank Gainda loads.

However all these memories boosted me to carve a piece from my memory lane to generate the best present I have given to someone since joining IIT, instigated by the part within me nagging for me to be creative.

When Fear Comes Knocking at the Door

2010-03-02T22:44:00.000+05:30

While the headlines offered devastating pictures of an earthquake measuring 8.8 on the Richter scale in Chile, my eyes traversed to a news which I found graver. Now I have come across mourning faces, murders, thefts in newspapers. In fact, I come across them daily. Lately, I had stopped ignoring them but it wasn’t the same this time. Of course, one of the words which had to attract me to the news was the name of my college in bold letters.

A similar news made the headlines a few months ago, when Pushpam Kumar Sinha, a Ph. D. from my college had committed the heinous double crime of murder and rape. The feeling which was born that time was that of shame. This time, it was of fear. The incident was similar. In a Shimla Hotel, an IIT-Roorkee boy had murdered his girlfriend, a 3rd year Textile Engineering student from IIT-Delhi. Her name was Pragati, and that was what made me feel worse. I thought I knew her, I didn’t know if this was the same Pragati who practiced with us in the Athletics Field but I wanted to believe she was not. Like almost every other news I read, I tried to junk it out but it wasn’t due to negligence but due to fear. The fear of losing the known.

It isn’t like I haven’t lost a relative. In fact, within the past 4 years I have lost all 4 of my grandparents. While studying at Bhavan, I had known a worse incident when one of my teachers was murdered by her son. It was 10th class, one of the teachers the whole class admired and suddenly one day on reaching the school we were informed she was no more. Yet again I didn’t want to feel the same.

Thus a day went by and the news passed into my memory. I felt sad for the seniors of my 3rd year, and imagined how it would feel when classes would resume and how the name Pragati would hang loosely in the air during attendance. But I kept myself away from the scene, convinced it was someone else. I didn’t want to spoil my Holi for some reasons.

However, the next day while chatting online I found a friend from Athletics field and teammate in EDC- Uday, and wasn’t hesitant to wish him a Happy Holi (it doesn’t matter Holi had already passed a day ago). However he transcended the unspoken barrier, and questioned about the grim news, whether I had acquainted myself with it or not. Unwilling to reply, yet asking whether it was the same Pragati I was left dumb when he replied yes. I quickly signed out, and meditated.

Not that she was one of my closest friends, or even a friend. I just happened to know her, and exchanged smiles with her when we saw each other. Yet it wasn’t news I could digest, a murder. The very word made me feel ugly. For some reason, I thought over and over about it and it wasn’t a mixture of feelings I experienced, but only two feelings- revulsion and an even worse fear.

E- Summit Hangover

2010-02-24T13:24:00.012+05:30

A visit to home had set my mood rolling, and things even here seemed bliss. Not for the first time, within the first week of return I sat working for the EDC, for the Entrepreneurship Summit scheduled during that weekend. But definitely, this was the first time I didn’t curse even a single time under my breath, but became so immersed in it that I was unwilling to return to doing anything else.

It started when during yet another of my random walks through the institute, my eyes caught team members working, dragging me automatically towards it to help. There with trainees of my year were those familiar faces, Ankur and Neha working incessantly on the endeavor to make the Summit a success, not letting me settle without delivering my best. From that moment, the treats, jokes and team spirit drew me back time and again. It was the first time, I served EDC as an actual ‘Publicity’ team member by pasting notices, besides being the content developer (the name read ‘Media’ and Public Relations) for EDC. Being assigned the stupid job of serving as the guide of Yourstory.in founder- Shradha Sharma, I later realized it was the best thing I could have been assigned.

One of the interesting things about the Summit was searching volunteers, as I knew hardly any first-yearites courtesy healthy interaction. Thus, I ran through the junior wings in the hostel at 1 am the night before the commencement of events. Funnily the incentives weren’t much, as the lure of a certificate, some free food and being with a bachelor- Shradha Sharma, got me 2 volunteers thankfully. These guys- Sankalp and Ujjwal, helped me loads in work as well as fun, joking on colorful topics. Another interesting thing about the Summit was I got the opportunity to coordinate with my classmate- Akshina, making me feel stupid for not having talked to her much during the span of almost 2 years in the same department. However, this was a better opportunity without Professors and marks, having to become subjects of our discussions. However, when it came to short-term materialistic benefits, I reaped the most out of the event among the Activity Heads making the Summit even more memorable.

Having already corresponded with Miss Shradha earlier through mail (regarding a Newsletter for EDC), she was amazed to have me there for serving her (though she had imagined me as some well-built, final year guy) and immediately offered bucks, although I didn’t have that in mind (I swear!). And from that moment, the team of 3- me and my volunteers (one of my weaknesses or strengths is I leave no distinction between me and juniors in work)- distributed efficiently throughout the institute covering all events, with E-Summit merchandise in hands, noting down what those wise (apparently) men spoke.

One of the most startling observations was the crowd, being a mixture of delegates and students from various cities in India, giving the event an essence to be bigger than Rendezvous. Though it got tiring to attend all the events, making notes I enjoyed it so much that I even made announcements, gave welcome speeches, and had to contribute laptop at places. It was definitely entertaining, though I admit even in my wildest dreams I wouldn’t imagined it before the Summit.

But undoubtedly the best moment in the Summit were witnessed in the workshop ‘Art of Bootstapping’ by Yo! China MD and Founder, Ashish Kapur who as a digression during his event, distributed 3 coupons of Rs 250 each in the audience for answering the right question. After I realized, it was not wits but volume what he wanted, the prize had to be mine. But even the better moment was, while I accompanied him to his car, alongside Akshina, I shamelessly but politely asked him after thanking if he had anymore coupons. With a smiling face and the answer “perseverance pays”, the man inserted hands into his pockets taking out 2 coupons of Rs 250 each, handing out 1 to me and 1 to Akshina. (Definitely, I have improved in Public Relations) Feasting with Sankalp and Ujjwal was fun, bringing Pizza Hut’s pizzas for them and myself, munching the Networking Dinner but the happiness on their faces gave me immense satisfaction to note it wasn’t free labor I was indulging them in. The parent-like concern of Khetan and Neha was so heartening, and became one of the major reasons for the team’s bonding.

In the final day, accompanying Miss Shradha paid off monetarily as well as for Networking getting opportunities to listen to the personal talks of entrepreneurs. She handed me a stipend of Rs 1600 on departure for covering all events, and editing their reports for Yourstory, which I distributed into 800 for myself and 800 for volunteers. Though I had to work on compilation and editing of articles, after tiring days in the nights, it was worth it.

It was an enthralling experience, and I sat in the Institute even hours after event was finished, to be with the team and feast. Now that the event has ended, I have become a part of the Literary Festival- Literati, giving yet another phase of excitement. Amongst these festivals, the qualifications into the finals of ‘Random Quiz’ with Abhinav and Gainda served as the perfect icing on the cake.

Ironically, bunking classes has become so much amusing again, and ironically I am finding staying away from Academics as a healthy way of keeping myself happy.

Wiping off the Cream

2010-02-15T15:33:00.004+05:30

“Being the cream of the nation”

“We as IITians must”

“It is you select few”

Some of the common phrases an IIT student listens through his/her stay. Now cream is defined as ‘The thick white or yellow pale yellow fatty liquid which rises to the top when milk is left to stand’. Similarly the cream of the nation means the part of the nation which rises to the top, thus achieving highest standards. Undoubtedly, the form of cream is a well representative of the milk that lies beneath, and thus every second day we listen about ourselves as the cream of the nation, making us realize it is us select few, who as IITians can and must do this and that.

Ironically, I realized another facet of it recently. The word ‘cream’ is a mockery on how easily it can be removed. Just dip a spoon into the milk, and the cream which floated above the other milk particles is no more a part of the milk. Similarly the system at IIT has been designed in some ways, to take away from us what makes us the cream of the nation. In the movie Zeitgeist, I had heard ‘This is the reason why you people are getting so much of entertainment nowadays in so many forms, so that people get engrossed in it and stop questioning the policies’.

IIT being a Government body can be perceived from a similar angle. There is something in an IIT student definitely missing in the rest of the crowd, just after clearing the prestigious JEE. Some of the differences are inquisitiveness, sharp brain, and an ability to question things until things are satisfactory. If the organizations at the top are to flourish, these people form a group, who can someday shake the foundations if not checked. Thus here comes the master-plan, the system of IITs. Here, the system demands hardwork, extreme hardwork, and an ability to adapt to the system. The free-flowingness, inquisitiveness and a scientific mind are buried to follow the path offering materialistic incentives. People silently cram the solutions to questions, convincing themselves of practical real-life applications, and they no more question as much as they did. In other words, what set them apart from the crowd is gone. The cream is wiped off.

We as IITians are a dull lot now, who could have been a potential threat to the functioning of the bodies which rule the nation, like the Government, Banks, Ambanis but have safely been taken care of. It is us select few, who are the best equipped to adapt to systems, and be unquestioning slaves. The phrase ‘You are the cream of the nation’ is a reminder of the past for us, and an amusing joy for the one who says it; mocking and successful in his aims.

- Contributed by Vivek Verma

Living the Unwarranted Fear

2010-02-10T02:05:00.002+05:30

“The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.” –Albert Einstein

Being a follower of this philosophy, I had begun accepting death as just a process, in our lifetime and the thought of dying didn’t scare me. Not being optimistic about my body health, I had convinced myself 10 more years would suffice. However, recently my beliefs were shaken when I came near to an experience where I could feel closer than ever, to the hypothetical situation of a sudden death.
Living through the week with minors, with an uneven degree of body being dysfunctional, I struggled surviving the cough, headache, sickness, throbbing of ears and head, pain in stomach and back. Gradually, one-by-one my body parts were failing me, in the crucial week of minors. However, it was in this phase one strange dream made me wake up, and consider the possibility of it being a reality.
In the 3rd or 4th night, where I could neither sleep nor stay awake comfortably, I dreamt myself near to a doctor, who handed me a report. Though I am poor at biology, I could clearly understand what it said. The disease of Brain Tumor wasn’t a pleasant sight to see at first, but not something that got me off balance. Following the report, (still in my dreams) I could see the reactions of people altered towards me but yet me failing to gather the courage to tell my parents the truth. Of all the people I could consult, I was surprisingly in the Dean’s office asking for advice whether I should divulge the truth, who immediately reprimanded me for still standing in front of him. As I proceeded having bid a final goodbye to the college that had harassed me, and walking towards home I started experiencing a mix of feelings. I could feel sad, at the things I had hoped for in this life, the changes I had wished to see around myself, sad at never coming close enough to conquer the field I had desired for- Mathematical research. Yet when I reached home, all these emotions were gone and I could see my mother’s face clearly. I was already uncomfortable facing her, and when the news was delivered I could see both the faces from an aerial view- her and mine, with tears in eyes, but her disbelief being more pronounced.
And it was this sight, which ended my dream, made me wake up and take notice of the fact the tear was real, it was in my eyes in the real world. I was not ready to die, and even more afraid of dying a slow death, with the ones I love knowing my fate within months. I couldn’t actually visualize who all amongst friends was actually moved enough, and neither do I want to consider that, for I don’t want my friends to feel good about me in such a fashion, where they realize something’s value after losing it. The positive side was hatred had vanished mutually.
I wished I had ten more years, I had always said I would be satisfied to die after 30. But then, I was convinced I am just another mortal, afraid of death and somehow after reaching 30 I would ask for 10 more years. The feeling of coming face-to-face with slow death was something I would like to forget, for it was one of those unnerving moments in which you feel somehow the memory of the last few seconds could be erased.

Speaking from the Stage

2010-01-28T19:32:00.004+05:30

Just 3 days after I had fumbled through my Humanities presentation, I was provided another opportunity to speak. But this time, everything was different. It wasn’t an ordinary classroom, but the stage of Dogra Hall. The audience wasn’t a bunch of students sitting for attendance, but rather the Deans, Director of IIT and Faculty Members. And most importantly, I spoke not because everyone would get a turn to speak, but was one of the 3 members short-listed by the Dean of Students to deliver a speech. The other two were fourth yearites, one of them being BSP (Board of Students Publication) General Secretary himself- Sudhanva Rao, while the other was Nishant Ranka. The occasion was celebration of 51st year of establishment of IIT-Delhi, on the ‘Foundation Day’ and the task of the speech was to express views on the topic ‘Widening Horizons of IIT-Delhi’.
Though the name had initially confused me as well, (as I had submitted a piece stating changes that must be incorporated in the system in this decade), a call clarified my misconceptions. The call was from the Dean of Students, Shashi Mathur himself who clarified the topic meant whether IIT-Delhi should expand into the diverse fields of medicine, arts, law, commerce etc. as well. The countdown till the decisive verdict on being the one to deliver a speech was both anxious and hopeful. When Shashi sir called again, I jumped delightfully for being selected and called the place I still love the most-home, despite a plethora of friends here. Dropping the Combinatorics book, I practiced while a replica of me (through the mirror) watched as the audience.
Later, the night provided contrasting emotions- of wait, desperation, fear, victory, delight, knowledge and appreciation. The event began approximately at 6, with an audience of at least 300 as I waited for my turn in one of the back seats. Seated besides the BSP G Sec and Editor, the wait became pricklier. The initial address by Director, IITD followed by a speech from one of the greatest figures in IIT history (ex-director of IIT-B, TIFR and Head of Scientific Advisory Council to the President of India) who dwelt into the feel of it, refusing to leave stage before at least 40 minutes, ensured numbers had began declining in the crowds. I don’t know whether I would have listened to him, had my speech not been a part of the evening later, but here I didn’t.
Apparently, the single thing that encouraged the remaining to cling to their seats was the free dinner (high-tea) after evening. Kashish Mittal ostensibly offered temporary relief taking the stage with classical music, rather than preaching (though I was supposed to do the same) but it got agonizing when his rendition lasted above half an hour. Enthusiasm had begun wearing off me, but the news of the scrapping of one of the speeches (time constraints) sent waves of fear through my spine. To relieve it, BSP G Sec himself resigned off the task, while I was asked to trim my speech into half.
The worst part was the following of performance by yet another never-ending ‘address’ by an ex-director of some IIT as crowd vanished exponentially. I was glad to know, Professor RK Sharma (HOD, Maths Department) waited for my speech but left when the ex-director crossed tolerable limits. I was flattered, as well as dejected to receive an apology by HOD himself as he left.
A dance performance added to the wait, but they suffered the most as they had to depart within 2 minutes. And then finally Nishant Ranka spoke (I didn’t hear his words either) for approximately 5 minutes, setting the stage for me. It was heartening to see crowd still seated with above 50 people, and I begun. The speech went well, as per my expectations where my unusual baritone was amplified by the mike, often stung my own ears. It was a delightful moment to have completed the speech, standing to the applause of the crowd.
Being approached to contribute the speech towards IIT-D alumni newsletter, immediately after added to the sensation. The food was somewhat worth the wait, as unlimited snacks served a good dinner, and equally knowledgeable and heartening were the chats with Tejesh (a 4th yearite from Combinatorics class), Nishant Ranka, Shashi Mathur, SCS Rao and a just admitted Assistant Professor into IITD Mechanical Department (Nomesh). At the end of the night, the bad feelings didn’t matter as a sense of achievement was the primary feeling, and an immense pleasure.